The Dilemma  Part One

Christine willed herself to be calm as she slowly walked into Dr.
McCoy's office.  She had received an order via her computer console to
report there.  The order had been issued by Mr. Spock.  She wondered if
the two of them had any suspicions of her "problem."  She nervously 
clutched the PADD in her hands.  If they had guessed, then she'd 
deal with it.  If not, she could investigate her options further.

She walked in calmly, trying to project a confident attitude.  "The two
of you needed to see me?" she asked formally.

"Yes, Christine," said Dr. McCoy softly.  "Come in and sit down."  His
warm eyes were flooded with concern.

She looked at both men.  They would have to make the first move.  She
wasn't going to give them any advantage they didn't already possess.

"We're concerned about your health, Christine."  began Dr. McCoy
softly.  "You've lost several kilos during the past few weeks, your
hands have been shaking, and you're so pale, that you could be mistaken
for a ghost."

She shrugged her shoulders.  "I've been working very hard on a special
project.  I've put in a lot of extra hours on it.  I'm just a little
tired, that's all."  She looked at them.  It was partially the truth.
She had been working long hours to find a solution to her current
"health problem."

"I have instructed Dr. McCoy give you a thorough physical."  Spock said
softly.  He looked at her gravely.  "Your "project" appears to be having
a dramatic effect on your health."

A blush stained her cheeks.  From the expressions on their faces, she
realized they both knew what the problem was.  She shook her head.
"That won't be necessary."  As tears of anger and shame flooded her
eyes, she handed the PADD to Dr. McCoy.  He read it, and then nodded to
Spock, confirming that their suspicions had been correct.

Staring into her lap, she whispered softly, "I'm seven weeks pregnant."

Seven weeks ago, their ill-fated mission to the Platonians had resulted
in Spock and Christine being force to engage in intercourse.  As a
result, she had become pregnant.  She had not been on any form of  birth
control at the time since she was not sexually active.  Now, the
repercussions of that fateful mission caused her to deeply regretted not
having used it anyway.

"I've accessed the data banks, and tried everything they recommended,
but nothing seems to be helping."  Her hands settled over her stomach,
where deep inside her womb, a helpless baby boy lay hidden away.

"Well, the first thing I'm going to do is give you a thorough exam.  You
realize that if your health warrants it, I'll have to relieve you of
duty for the duration of your pregnancy."  Dr. McCoy spoke gently,
hoping to soften the blow.

She nodded miserably, silent tears streaming down her cheeks.  "I knew
I'd eventually have to be relieved of duty.  I just........"  She buried
her face helplessly in her hands.  The humiliation was just too much for
her to bear.

Dr. McCoy came over and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.  "I'm
sorry, Chris," he began, using his nickname for her.  "I know this is
hard for you."  He glanced at Spock, who nodded at him.  "Mr. Spock
wants to speak with you privately for a few moments."

She nodded, finally having gained control of her emotions.  She raised
her face to look warily at Spock, quickly wiping the last vestiges of
tears from her eyes.  Dr. McCoy walked out of his office, giving them
the opportunity to speak privately.

Spock studied her face carefully.  He knew what the logical course of
action was.  He did not know if she would concur or not.  "Miss Chapel,
in order for the fetus to have the greatest chance of survival, you
should be attended at the Vulcan Science Academy Hospital.  There, you
can receive the appropriate medical care that this high risk pregnancy
demands.  Your health is in danger as well as the baby's."  He spoke
calmly, not wanting to further distress her.

"I know,"  she replied softly.

When she did not continue, he chose to address the issue of paternity,
and his responsibilities under Vulcan law.  "I am responsible for the
pregnancy.  I will see that the your needs and our child's needs are
taken care of.  Vulcan law dictates that I must take....."

She sprang out of her seat with anger blazing in her eyes.  "To hell
with Vulcan law.  You have never wanted a thing to do with me.  I'll go
to Vulcan, because it is necessary  for my baby's health.  But, I want
to make this clear to you, this child is mine to raise as I see fit.
You'll have visitation rights because this child deserves a father and
Federation Law gives them to you, but this child is mine.  The two of us
will make it on our own. I don't want your pity or you fulfilling your
*duties* because Vulcan law says you have to."  Her tone was venomous,
and her eyes flashed fire.

Her mood swing caught him off guard.  It was common with Vulcan-Human
pregnancies, but he had not expected her to become so angry from his
offer of help.  Dr. McCoy hurried into the room.  He gently took her
arms and steered her back to the chair she where had been sitting.

"Chris, take it easy," said Dr. McCoy gently.   He looked at Spock.
"Are you through talking to her, Spock?  I'd like to start on  that
exam."  He also wanted to separate the two of them.  Christine was far
too angry to think clearly and needed some space.

"For the moment, I am finished.  Please send the exam results to me as
soon as they are ready."  said Spock.

Christine's breathing slowed as she began to tremble.  Her blue eyes
filled with tears.  "I'm sorry...." she whispered in an anguished
tone.

"Come on, Chris, let's get this exam started.  Spock, I'll send the
results as soon as I have them."  He led Christine out of his office and
into a private exam room.

Spock left the office and headed to his quarters.  Her mood swing was a
normal part of Vulcan-Human pregnancies.  He had suggested to Dr. McCoy
that melding with her would help her control the mood swings.  It was a
common practice on Vulcan.  However, Dr. McCoy had disagreed with him
saying it would be putting undue pressure on Christine, which given her
already fragile physical and emotional states, could have devastating
results.

Once he entered his quarters, he immediately established contact with
his parents.

"Greetings, my son."  said his father.  He saw his mother was at his
father's side.

"I offer you greetings, mother and father.  There is an urgent matter
which we must discuss.  First, I would like you to review these log
entries I am sending over the com channel."

He waited patiently while his parents reviewed the information.  When
they had finished, Sarek spoke.  "My son, it is most unfortunate that
this happened to you and your crew mates."

"There has been a further repercussion, Father.  Miss Chapel is
pregnant."  Spock said.

"Is she going to have the child?"  asked Sarek gravely.

"I believe she is planning to.  She has not stated otherwise, and her
conversation with me is indicative of a decision to have the child.   If
she is to successfully carry and give birth to the child, she will
require the services of the Vulcan Science Academy's hospital."

"It's is the most logical place for her to receive care."  replied
Sarek.

"We would welcome her to stay here with us, Spock."  began Amanda.  "We
are near the hospital, and I know from experience how difficult the
pregnancy will be."

"It will also be logical, since Vulcan law requires you to take
responsibility for both of them.  Have you addressed your
responsibilities with her yet?"  asked Sarek.

"I attempted to engage her in conversation regarding my
responsibilities, but she became quite hostile.  It was not logical to
continue the discussion at that time."
replied Spock.

"Spock, you have to give her time to adjust.  She will come to trust
your motivations in time.  Right now, she probably feels many
conflicting emotions about the pregnancy."  said Amanda.

"It may take some time for her to see the logic of the situation, but I
will take her as my bondmate.  Not only because of my obligations under
Vulcan law, but because another incident gave me opportunity to touch
her mind.  After much meditation, I came to the decision that she was a
logical choice for my bondmate."  explained Spock.  "I must take leave
of you now, as my time is up.  Live, long, and prosper."  After his
parents had returned the parting phrase, he closed the channel.

*************************************************


Later, in Dr. McCoy's office, they discussed the situation with the
Captain.  Christine was to be relieved of duty immediately.  Her
physiology was having a difficult time adjusting to the pregnancy.  She
would rest and prepare to move to Spock's parents' home.  They would
arrive at Vulcan in eight days.

The idea of living in Spock's home triggered many conflicting emotions
for her.  However, Amanda and Sarek had personally extended the
invitation to her, and she knew she was going to need help in the coming
months.

After the meeting, Spock once again tried to engage Christine in
conversation.  However, she flatly refused to discuss the matter with
him.  Dr. McCoy and Captain Kirk counseled him to give her time and find
unobtrusive ways to show her he cared.

The Dilemma--Part 2

Christine sat in the dimly lit room.  She had finally finished unpacking
her belongings.  Spock's parents had welcomed her into their home.  Due
to the complications of her pregnancy, there had no had choice but to
put her on maternity leave.  After she gave birth, she would decide if
she wanted to remain in Star Fleet with planet side duty, or if she
wanted to resign her commission.  To leave her child to be raised by
others while she served on a Starship was unthinkable to her.  Prior to
her beaming down, Spock tried once again to talk to her about *his
responsibilities,* but she refused to hear him out.  She had never meant
anything to him, and she did not want a relationship with him based on
the fact she was pregnant with his child.  The pregnancy wasn't his
fault.  It was Parmen's fault.  Parmen had used his telekinetic powers
to force them to engage in intercourse.

A light knock on the door brought her back to the present.  "Come in,"
she called softly.

Amanda walked into the room.  "How are you feeling Christine?"  she
asked gently.  She walked over to stand by the chair where Christine
sat.

"I'm feeling somewhat better.  The treatment the Healers gave me seems
to be helping some.  My mood is certainly more stable than it has been
for a long time."

Amanda smiled.  "I remember when I was pregnant with Spock.  The mood
swings were very hard to cope with.  Poor Sarek bore the brunt of my
emotions while I was pregnant with Spock."

"I haven't been very easy to get along with for the past few days."
admitted Christine ruefully.  She recalled her temperamental outbursts
every time Spock  tried to talk with her about her pregnancy and his
responsibilities under Vulcan Law.

"Supper is ready, Christine.  Do you feel up to joining us in the dining
room, or would you rather have a tray in your room?"  Amanda hoped she
would join them.  She was very concerned about her.  Spock had talked
with her at length about the deep depression being relieved of duty and
the pregnancy had put her in.

"I'll join you," replied Christine softly.  She did not want to be a
burden to Spock's family.  Slowly, she stood up and followed Amanda to
the dining room.

She sat quietly as she ate her supper.  Sarek observed her carefully.
He was aware that at one time Christine had feelings for his son at one
time.  Had Spock's constant rejection of her completely ruined any
chance that she would accept him.  He knew from the reports that he had
seen on the incident and from Spock himself, that Spock cared deeply for
Christine.  Spock quite candidly told his father of his meditations
afterward where he had forced himself to examine why the Platonians had
selected Christine for him.  He had discovered that she was the one he
wanted as bondmate.  It went back to the time they had shared
consciousness.  He had seen deep into her soul, and  finally realized
that she was a rare treasure indeed.

"Christine, is your room satisfactory?"  he inquired.

"Yes, it's fine Ambassador Sarek."  she answered softly.

"Please call me Sarek," he answered.

She nodded her assent.  His telepathic powers were strong enough to
sense her reluctance to talk, so he questioned her no further.

************************


Later, in her room, she sat reading data off the computer screen on
Vulcan-Human pregnancies.    She knew she had a difficult road ahead of
her.  Some women may have found it acceptable to have an abortion under
these circumstances,
but she didn't.  As a medical practitioner, she knew just how much a
fetus suffered in an abortion.  Besides, she knew she would not be able
to live with herself if she aborted her child.  Her hand slid over her
flat stomach.  It would not be flat much longer. It would soon start to
grow along with her son.

Her mind drifted to her last conversation with Spock.  By Vulcan law, he
had to assume responsibility for both the baby and Christine.  However,
she did not accept this.  She was not a citizen of Vulcan.  She did not
have to abide by Vulcan law.  She would let him see the child he had
fathered, but she would not accept a life with him when he did not love
her.  Tears stung her eyes.  Why did this have to happen? She did not
want it to be like this.  Early in her service aboard the Enterprise,
she had dreamed of having a child with him, but it had always been after
they had become bond mates.  They would be together because of their
mutual love for each other.

Vulcans said that love was illogical, but she saw the love that existed
between Sarek and Amanda.  She had seen it from the first day they had
been on the Enterprise for the conference at Babel.  However, it would
never be for that
way for her.  Spock did not love her.  Why the Platonians had selected
her for him was a complete mystery to her.  She remembered when they had
shared consciousness.  It had been so beautiful.  She had seen him as no
one else
had.  Realizing that it was getting late, she turned off the computer
and crept into bed.  Tomorrow, she would return to the hospital for more
tests.  She was being monitored on a daily basis, to insure the baby's
continued health as well as her own.  She was so weary, that in less
than five minutes, she was asleep.

******************************


She was walking in mists.  This was a strange place that she did not
recognize.  In her arms she held a baby. It was part Vulcan and part
Human.  Looking, she saw a dark figure coming towards her out of the
swirling mists.  It was Spock.  He looked at the infant nestled in her
arms.  Gently, he stroked its face with his fingers.  Deep sorrowful
eyes meet hers.  He held out the fingers in the traditional Vulcan
manner to her.  His eyes pleaded with her, begging her to return the
gesture.  She stared at him blankly.  After a
time, he dropped his hand.  With a hollow glance at her and a final
caress of the infant's cheek, he turned and walked away slowly in the
swirling mists.  She looked back down at
the infant in her arms and gasped in shock.  No longer did her son's
face look back at her, it was Spock's face staring at her in an accusing
manner.  She screamed.

Amanda awoke with a start.  She heard Christine's screams.  Sarek sat up
too.  "Stay here, Sarek, I'll handle this."  She quickly slid a robe on
and hurried to Christine's room.

When she walked in, Christine was sitting up in bed trembling.  Her gown
was soaked in sweat.  When she saw Amanda walk in, she blushed.  "I'm so
sorry, I....I had a nightmare and woke up screaming.  I'm sorry I woke
you
up."

"You needn't apologize, Christine.  It happens sometimes in Vulcan
pregnancies.  I know I had some really intense dreams  when I was
pregnant with Spock."

Christine nodded.  "The Healers mentioned that I might have nightmares.
They said the dreams could be very intense, and were they ever right."
She sighed softly.

"Would you like to talk about it?" asked Amanda kindly.

"No, I'll be okay."  Christine assured her.  There was no way she could
share this dream with Spock's mother.

"Well then, goodnight, dear.  Try to get some rest."  With that Amanda
walked out of the room.

Christine rubbed her hands over her face.  It had been an incredibly
strange dream.  She wondered what it could mean.  She quickly changed
her gown and went
back to sleep.

Back in their room, Amanda explained to Sarek what had happened.  "If
only Spock were here to meld with her Sarek.  I remember how you melded
with me to ease the confusing dreams I had.  Her dreams seem to be worse
than mine ever were.  I never woke up screaming"

"Yes, but right now, she rejects our son's duty to fulfill his
responsibility."  Sarek answered quietly.

"I know.  Spock will have to be very patient with her.  In time, I think
she will come to realize that Spock cares very deeply for her."

The Dilemma--Part 3   TOS--AU--S/C

Spock awoke with gasp.  The dream had been extremely intense.  Christine
had stood before him holding a Human-Vulcan infant in her arms.  He had
stroked the baby’s cheek tenderly.  However, as he extended the two
fingered Vulcan gesture to her, she had merely stared at him.  As he
turned and walked away through the swirling mists, he saw the events
through her eyes.  As she looked down at their baby, she had seen his
face staring at her accusingly.  Her screams had jolted him awake.

He sat quietly on the side of the bed.  He knew Christine must be having
the usual telepathic dreams brought on by Vulcan pregnancy.  Hers were
more intense than they normally would have been due to the stress she
was under and the lack of a bond between them.  The child's
consciousness reach to the bond of it's parents.  Normally, the husband
mind melded with his wife to ease these dreams.  He knew she would not
allow that.  She did not want anything to do with him, and he could not
blame her.  Based on the manner in which he had treated during their
time on the Enterprise, she had no reason to trust him.

He considered their encounters since she’d come aboard.  She had come so
far.  He still intended to claim her as his bondmate.  He wanted no one
else.  No one else would do.  He would simply continue to be caring and
considerate of her, letting his love for her show.

*************************************************


Christine eased herself into a chair.  In the two weeks that she’d been
with Sarek and Amanda, her health had wavered.  The intense dreams were
continuing.  Today at Amanda’s insistence, she would discuss them with
the healer.  She knew Amanda was right.    The dreams were interfering
with her sleep.  If she did not get enough rest, she could lose the
baby.

The door slid open, Soren, the healer walked in.  “How are you today,
Christine?” he asked.

“I’m doing as well as can be expected.”  answered Christine softly.  Her
hands slid protectively over her stomach.  “I need to talk to you about
a problem I have been experiencing that concerns me greatly.”

“What is the problem?” asked Soren.

“I’ve been having very intense dreams.  Amanda says that happens with
Vulcan pregnancies.  They are interfering with my ability to sleep.”
She bit her lips, knowing the nature of the dreams would have to be
discussed.

“We can approach this two ways.  You can verbally tell me about the
dreams, or I can initiate a healing meld to allow me to see your
dreams.”  Soren waited patiently.  He was fairly certain that the dreams
were about Spock and the baby she was carrying.  It was very normal
given the circumstances.  The Vulcan child she carried served as a
conduit for both Christine and Spock.  Soren knew Spock was endeavoring
to fulfill his responsibilities.  However, Christine wanted no part of
him.

Christine looked at her hands.  This was so hard.  If only she had not
gotten pregnant.  The Platoians had ruined her life.  Being force to
engage in sex with Spock had been a shattering experience.  As his mind
touched hers, she had also felt his shame at being unable to stop
himself.  It had been magnified further as he felt her pain and
humiliation.

Soren’s strong healer’s esp was picking up on her turbulent emotions.
She needed a healing meld.  What the Platoians had done to them was akin
to rape.  Spock had told him everything that had happened.  His concern
for Christine had outweighed any embarrassment.  In fact, Spock had
visited him prior to the Enterprise’s departure to obtain  treatment for
himself.  Soren had performed a healing meld on Spock, allowing him to
see that the Platoians were guilty of rape, not him,  and that he had
been a victim along with Christine.

Soren gently lifted her head to look into her eyes.  "The healing meld
will also help ease the pain you feel."

She nodded her consent, and he led her to the treatment table.  She
carefully lay down, staring up at Soren.  He was an elderly Vulcan,
older even than Sarek.  His dark impassive eyes had a soothing effect on
her.  She closed her eyes as she felt his warm fingers make contact with
her face.

"Your mind to my mind, your thoughts to my thoughts," he intoned softly.

She felt the gentle brush of his mind across hers.  Slowly, the
nightmares that plagued her sleeping hours replayed in their minds.  He
projected comfort to her as the images caused her an increasing amount
of distress.  Finally they came to the end of the dreams.

Soren  mentally asked permission to delve into the memories of the
encounter with the Platonians.  Some of her dreams included flashbacks
from that encounter as well.  She gave him her consent and he initiated
the healing meld that would begin to soothe away the anguish the
encountered had caused her.

*************************************************


Finally, he gently ended the meld.  Christine's face was awash with
tears.  He handed her a soft cloth.  She began to wipe away the tears.

He decided to discuss the cause of the dreams with her again in hopes of
persuading her to change her mind.
"Your dreams are normal with a Vulcan pregnancy.  Due to the
circumstances of pregnancy, they are much more intense than they
normally would be,"  said Soren quietly.

"The pregnancy occurred due to a very traumatic encounter between you
and Spock.  That is causing you a great deal of emotional distress.
Vulcan sexual relations and resultant pregnancies are interrelated with
their telepathic abilities.  In a Vulcan marriage, the bond serves to
connect the child and parents in a deeply personal manner.  As you and
Spock are unbonded, the child's telepathic connection with the two of
you are more erratic and confusing."  Soren paused, seeing she had a
questioning look in her eyes.

"Is Spock experiencing dreams as well?"  she asked.

"Yes, he will experience the same dreams you do," answered Soren.

She gazed at him thoughtfully.  "Is there anything you can do to block
the dreams?"

"No, any medication capable of blocking the dreams would pose grave
danger to your unborn child," he replied.  "In Vulcan marriages, the
husband melds with his pregnant wife when her dreams become too
intense.   In this way, the unborn baby and the parents form a strong
family bond."

She sighed deeply.  "I guess I'll just have to learn to cope better."
She eased herself into a sitting position.    "Can we proceed with the
rest of the exam?"

Soren knew any further counseling he attempted now would not be
beneficial.  She was still not willing to accept Spock at this point.
So he nodded and then began scanning her.

*************************************************


Spock stared blankly at the report from Soren.  Christine and the baby
were doing as well as could be expected.  However, if the dreams
continued to be intense, she would be put on strict bed rest, as she was
not getting enough sleep due to the intense dreams.  If only Christine
would accept him, allow him to meld with her.  He could ease the
dreams.  He could feel his son's mind.  He also found it troubling that
she was beginning to develop symptoms of pre-eclampsia.  If she develop
pre-eclampsia, she could very easily miscarry the baby.  If she
developed eclampsia, they would have to take the baby immediately.  If
that happened, and she was not far enough along in her pregnancy, the
baby would surely die, and in her weakened condition, Christine might
not survive either.  Somehow, he would find a way to make her see that
he cared.  Tapping a button, he began to record a message to her.

*************************************************


Christine lay in her bed reading information off a computer screen.  She
wondered how much more would this pregnancy effect her before she
finally delivered the baby.  Besides being chronically tired from lack
of sleep, her body was having difficulty maintaining the hormone levels
necessary for her to carry her son to term.  She was being monitored
very closely, as she periodically displayed one or two symptoms of
pre-eclampsia.  She was having a very difficult pregnancy.  She could
only hope that she would be able to carry her son to term.  If she
developed pre-eclampsia, it would pose a grave risk to both the baby and
her.  Soren had her on daily medications in an attempt to prevent
pre-eclampsia from developing.  She was twelve weeks  along right now.
The baby had to be at least 25 weeks to survive.  A knock at her door
startled her out of her thoughts.

"Come in," she called.

The door slid open, and Amanda walked in.  "How are you feeling
Christine?"

Christine gave her a weary smile.  "Not too well," she admitted.

Amanda handed her a data card for the computer.  "This is a message for
you from Spock.  It just came in on the house's main communication
system.  I thought perhaps you might like to see before supper."

Christine reluctantly reached for the card.  In spite of the compassion
and kindness shown to her by Sarek and Amanda, she still could not even
think of Spock without being overwhelmed by shame.  The healing meld had
helped lessen the pain, but it was still present with her.  She placed
the data card into the computer.   Spock's image appeared.

"Christine, I have been receiving reports from Soren.  I am deeply sorry
that you are continuing to suffer mentally and physically."  His dark
eyes seemed to be penetrating her all the way into her very soul.  "We
will be near Vulcan in 8.345 days.  The Captain has agreed to allow me
to take 3 days leave.  I will be dropped  off at Vulcan, while the ship
proceeds on its mission."

Christine paused the message, based on the date of the message, Spock
would arrive tomorrow.  Three days with Spock in the house would not be
easy.  She started the message again.

"I would very much like to speak with you during that time.  I know you
are reluctant to believe my concern extends beyond our son.  I hope you
will allow me to prove myself to you during those three days."  He
raised his hand in the Vulcan salute.  "Live long and prosper,
Christine."

The screen went blank.  Christine lay back against the pillows.
Conflicting emotions ripped through her.  She had once deeply loved
Spock.  Every since the mission to Plationus, she had not been able to
think of him without reliving the shame and horror that had been forced
upon them.  Could she ever love and trust him again?

The next day, Spock beamed into the garden of his parents' home.  They
exchanged the traditional greetings and entered the house.  They all
took seats in the family room.

"How is Christine?" asked Spock quietly.

"She is doing as well as can be expected, Spock," answered Amanda.
"Vulcan-Human pregnancies are very difficult to maintain.  The doctor
has placed her on complete bed rest and ordered full time home nursing
care for her.  She is still in danger of developing pre-eclampsia."

"Why isn't she in the hospital?  They could monitor her more closely
there," said Spock.

"Sorek felt that keeping her in the home environment would be more
beneficial to her emotional stability.  Any added stress could become a
factor in her having a miscarriage," explained Sarek.

Spock removed a small package from his bag.  "I wish to see her," he
said.

Amanda stood and indicated for him to follow her.  "Don't pressure her,
Spock.  You'll only make things worse than they are already."

She knocked on the door and it slid open.  Christine gazed
apprehensively at Spock and Amanda.  She was not up to a confrontation
with Spock.

"I'll leave both of you to visit in private," said Amanda.   She left
Spock standing just inside the door.  The nurse, understanding their
need for privacy left the room with Amanda.

He walked in slowly, and took the chair by her bed.

"Hello, Christine," he said in a soothing tone.  He had noticed her
apprehension and tried to project calmness and reassurance to her.  He
took in her weariness, her extremely pale and slightly swollen face and
hand, and the monitoring equipment in the room.  He felt deep sorrow
that he was partially the cause of her suffering.

"Hello, Spock," she whispered.  "We're a little turned around here,
aren't we?"  She would take refuge in humor to make it through this
visit.

"I don't understand," said Spock.

A ghost of a smile flickered across her lips.  "Usually, you're the one
in the bed looking like death warmed over."

He gave her an indulgent look.  "Indeed."  He held out the small package
towards her.  "A token for you."

She hesitantly took the package, and began removing the paper, being
careful not to dislodge the IV that dripped nutrients and medications to
help keep her pregnancy stabilized into her vein.  As she lifted the lid
of the small box, Spock watched her intently.

Inside the box was a small silver IDIC symbol with a sapphire stone set
in the top point of the triangle.  She picked up the delicate chain with
care.

"It's beautiful," she said softly.

"I chose to have a sapphire instead of the traditional stone.  The
sapphire is your birthstone, and it also matches your eyes."  Spock
watched her, hoping he had not made a mistake.  Kirk and McCoy had
helped him select a gift.

Her smile seemed to erase some of the weariness from her face.  She
struggled to open the delicate clasp, but the IV needle in her hand
hampered her efforts.

"Allow me," said Spock.  He took the necklace, opened the clasp and
fastened it carefully around her neck.  He was careful not to touch her
anymore than necessary.

"Thank you, Spock," she said as she fingered the delicate charm.

"You're quite welcome, Christine."  He gazed at the monitors for a few
moments.  "How are you feeling today?"

She shrugged.  "About the same.  Soren said it's not going to get any
easier from here on."  Her eyes had a haunted expression.  "They're
concerned if I develop pre-clampsia that I'll miscarry the baby."  Her
hands rested on her stomach which had the merest hint of a bulge.  "If I
go into labor or develop eclampsia before I make it to 25 weeks, Soren
doesn't think the baby will survive."  She blinked her eyes shut against
stinging tears.

Spock was uncertain what to do.  He did not want to offend her or cause
her further distress.  Slowly, he put a hand on her shoulder.  She made
no effort to move, so he left it there.  He wished she would allow him
to touch her mind and share her pain, but it was far too soon to ask
her.  First, he had to gain her trust.

Soon, her breathing deepened, and he realized she was asleep.  He
quietly left the room.

Sarek and Amanda looked up as he entered the family room.  He sat in a
chair near his parents.

"She is sleeping now," said Spock.

Sarek nodded.  "She sleeps quite a bit.  Soren wants her to sleep as
much as she possibly can to maintain her strength."

"She accepted my gift," said Spock.

Amanda smiled at him.  "She will come to accept you as well, Spock. Give
her time."

*************************************************


The next day, Spock observed Soren and a nurse as they checked the
results of the monitors in Christine's room.

"Well," began Soren, as he turned from the last monitor.  "Your
condition continues to remain stable.  The bed rest along with the
intravenous nutrients and medications appear to be working.  We will
continue with this course of treatment as it is forestalling
pre-eclampsia.  Have you noticed any differences in how you feel
Christine?"

She nodded, "I don't seem to be as tired as I was before I started this
course of treatment.  The nausea, dizziness, and weakness aren't as bad
as they were, though they are still bothersome."

"And what of the dreams, are they still troubling you?" asked Soren.

With an embarrassed glance at Spock, she nodded.  "I am still
experiencing them."  She was well aware that if she was experiencing
them, then Spock was too.

Soren nodded.  "I will return tomorrow."  He turned to the nurse.  "I
have no new orders for you at this time.  Continue with the current
treatments."

Spock looked at her thoughtfully, "Christine, I can help with the
dreams....."  He stopped mid-sentence at her icy glare.

"I'm very tired now, Spock.  I would like to take a nap."  Her eyes
moved very pointedly to the door.

"Sleep well, Christine," whispered Spock.  He turned and left her room
without another word.

*************************************************


Later that day, Spock carried Christine's lunch tray to her.  The nurse
had permitted it, knowing that Spock and Christine needed to spend time
alone together.

 Christine accepted the tray with none of the iciness his offer to help
with the dreams had triggered.  Sitting in the chair by her bed, he
watched as she began to eat.  It seemed to him that she was exhausted by
the very effort.

Christine laid the spoon down.  She had not eaten very much, but she was
so tired, it was an effort just to try to eat.
She felt Spock's eyes upon her and turned to meet his concerned gaze.

"You need to eat, Christine," he said softly.

"I know," she sighed.  "It usually takes me a long time to finish a
meal.  I just don't have enough energy to do anything."

Spock stood up and picked up the spoon.  "Perhaps I can be of some
assistance."  At her slight nod, he dipped the spoon into the soup and
fed it to her.

Christine allowed Spock to continue to feed her lunch.  If only she
weren't so tired.  She knew that it was necessary for her to eat, so she
permitted Spock to help her.

After he had finished feeding her, he took the tray, intending to carry
it to the kitchen.  He paused as she called his name.

"Spock," he turned towards her.  "Thank you," she said softly.

"You're welcome, Christine.  Try to rest now."  With that, he carried
the tray to the kitchen as Christine drifted into a peaceful slumber.

Amanda smile when she saw the empty tray.  "Good, she ate all her
lunch."  She took the tray and slid it into the processor to be
recycled.

"I assisted her by feeding her," stated Spock calmly.

Amanda smiled at her son.  "Good, it also gave you two some time with
each other.  Come into the dining room, lunch is ready."

*************************************************


After lunch, Spock quietly entered Christine's room and sat in the chair
by her bed.  He watched her as she slept.  The nurse slipped out quietly
after instructing him to call her at once if she was needed.

Christine began to stir restlessly on the bed.  From the expressions
flitting across her face, he realized she was in the throes of another
nightmare.  He longed to be able to meld with her and ease the terror
that was clearly racing through her mind.  From her mutterings, he knew
she was reliving their forced encounter on Platonious.

He gently shook her to rouse her from the nightmare.  Her eyes opened
and she shrank away from Spock.  The fear in her eyes concerned him.

"Christine," he began softly.  "You're safe, we aren't on Platonious
anymore."

She blinked several times and realized that she was in her room at Sarek
and Amanda's home.  She looked back at Spock.  "Thank you for waking me
up."

Before he could respond, the nurse knocked on the door, then entered the
room.  Spock retreated to a corner and the nurse began checking
Christine's vital signs.

Spock stood by Christine's bed.  "It is time for me to beam aboard the
Enterprise.  I will return again as soon as time permits."

Christine stared at him for a few moments as she fingered the delicate
IDIC charm he'd given her.  "Thank you for coming," she whispered
softly.  He had been so kind and considerate to her.  Part of her did
not want him to leave.  She was beginning to feel that maybe she could
trust him again.

"I shall send messages to you.  It would please me greatly if you would
also send messages to me," said Spock softly.

She nodded slowly.  "I'll answer your messages."

Spock lifted his hand in the traditional salute.  "Live long and
prosper, Christine."

She returned the salute.  "Live long and prosper, Spock."

He turned and walked out of her room.  She watched him as he went,
feeling a stirring in her soul.  Perhaps, there was hope for them after
all.

*************************************************


Back on board the Enterprise, Spock spoke with Kirk and Dr. McCoy in the
Captain's quarters.  He was updating them on Christine's condition.

"Presently, Christine is confined to bed, and is likely to remain so
until our son is born.  She is in grave danger of developing
pre-eclampsia.  Soren, the healer feels that if she does not carry the
child to at least 25 weeks, the baby will not survive."

Dr. McCoy nodded, "Even at 25 weeks, the baby will still be in critical
condition.  What type of treatments are they using on her, Spock?"

"They are using drug therapy to control her symptoms at the moment.
Soren is making every effort to keep Christine and the baby healthy.  If
she develops pre-eclampsia, then he will also begin giving her steroids
to help the baby's lungs develop.  That will be a critical factor in the
baby's survival."

"How's Miss Chapel taking this, Spock?"  asked the Captain.

"She is concerned for the welfare of our baby.  She is complying with
all of Soren's instructions.  She fears losing the baby.  It will be
very difficult for her if the baby does not survive," replied Spock.

"Spock, if you wish to take leave time, I can arrange it."  Kirk looked
at his friend.  He could tell the Vulcan was very worried about
Christine.

"If the situation warrants it, I will accept your offer.  I most
assuredly want to take leave for our son's birth," answered Spock.

"Spock, how did she like the necklace?" asked McCoy.

"She appears to be pleased with it.  She did not take it off the entire
time I was there,"  answered Spock.

Captain Kirk smiled.  "Don't give up, Spock.  Christine cares for you,
she just needs time to adjust."

After a few moments of thoughtful silence as each man pondered the
situation, Spock excused himself and left.

*************************************************


Christine lay in bed absently fingering the silver IDIC Spock had given
her.  He had been so caring and thoughtful the entire time he was
visiting.  Why did she have such reluctance to allow him to touch her
mind and soothe the dreams.  He had never done anything to make her fear
him.  She recalled the time they had shared consciousnesses.  She had
seen him as no one else on the Enterprise had ever seen him before.

A yawn escaped her lips.  She saw the nurse raise an eyebrow at her.

"You should try to sleep now, Christine."  said T'Shar softly.  Your
body needs rest."

Christine nodded, "I am rather fatigued."  She closed her eyes and
drifted off to sleep....

A small child tugged at her hand urging her to hurry.  They were walking
to a tall Vulcan male who stood with his back to them.  He slowly turned
around.  Spock stared at her with pleading eyes.

The little boy ran to his father.  He noticed the tension between his
mother and father.  It confused him.  He stared at both of them.   He
pulled his father over to his mother and took her hand as well.  The
sorrow and longing that flowed through her mind nearly consumed her
fragile spirit.  Her heart ached for the loneliness she felt.

Christine awoke slowly, tears trickling down her pale face.  T'Shar
walked briskly to the bedside.

"Are you in pain, Christine?" she asked softly.

Christine shook her head.   "No T'Shar just another dream."  She did not
offer any details of the dream and T'Shar did not pry.  Christine wiped
her eyes and tried to find a more comfortable position.  She slipped
back into a trouble slumber.

*************************************************

Spock sat up in his bed.  This latest dream was not as disturbing as her
other dreams.  However he was certain the dream had disturbed her
sleep.  She needed rest so badly.  He wished she would allow him to help
her.  He took consolation in the fact that she had agreed to send him
messages.  She had also accepted his gift without hesitation.  Her
reaction as he was taking his leave of her encouraged him greatly.  She
seemed to be softening toward him somewhat.  He lay back down and
allowed himself to fall asleep once more.

*************************************************


Christine elevated the head of the bed more so she could see the screen
of her com system more clearly.  Sarek had surprised her by installing a
com system that she could access easily from her bed.  It was now much
easier to communicate with Spock.  In addition to messages, he had
spoken to her directly a few times since he had left 3 weeks ago.  She
found herself looking forward to hearing from him.

She started his message.  Spock's face appeared on the screen.

"Hello, Christine, I hope you are continuing to remain in a stabilized
condition.  I am sorry I can not speak with you personally this time.
We have been diligently patrolling the sectors around Vulcan.  We were
assigned here due to some rumors that the Romulans may try to use their
cloaking device to mount an attack on Vulcan."  He continued describing
their current assignment and assured her that there was no cause for
alarm, as Dr. Delare had found a way in which to undermine the cloaking
device, so the Romulans would be caught before they struck Vulcan, if
the rumor was indeed true.

She smile softly as the message ended, and encoded the sequence that
would send her reply to him.  She assured him that she was not worried
about the Romulans as long as the Enterprise was patrolling the area.
She soberly told him that her condition was starting to worsen.  She
explained if she developed pre-eclampsia, that Soren would immediately
hospitalize her.  In the hospital, they would step up drug therapy to
combat the symptoms, as well as administer steroids to help develop the
baby's lungs.  Her voice quavered as she explained these things.  She
quickly ended the message and pressed send.  She just couldn't lose this
baby....

Spock stared at the view screen as it went dark at the conclusion on the
message.  Christine had not elaborated on her condition in her message.
This message from Soren had been very detailed.  Soren had detailed the
symptoms Christine was suffering from.  The nondependent edema she had
been afflicted with when he visited her four weeks ago had increased
dramatically.  He observed the additional swelling of her features when
he viewed her message.  The sudden weight gain she had experienced over
several days was caused by the nondependent edema.  Her blood pressure
was becoming extremely high despite Soren's best efforts to keep it
down.  Since she was now evidencing two of the three symptoms needed to
classify her as having pre-eclampsia they were carefully monitoring her
for the third symptom..  Every time she voided, her urine was checked
for protein.  Blood tests were being done twice a day to monitor her
platelet count.  A count of less than 100,000/FL was also a symptom of
preeclampsia.

Spock turned off the viewer, left his quarters, and headed for sickbay.
He wanted to get Dr. McCoy's opinion on Christine's condition.  It
wasn't that he didn't trust Soren.  Christine was human and Spock wanted
to make sure Soren had not missed anything that a physician more skilled
in human physiology would not.

Dr. McCoy looked up as Spock walked purposefully into sickbay with a
data chip in his hand.  "What can I do for you, Spock," he asked softly,
suspecting it was about Christine.

"I would like you to review this report on Christine's health status
Soren has sent me and see if you concur.  Perhaps since you are more
familiar with human physiology, you may have some treatment insights
that Soren may not be aware of."

Dr. McCoy took the data chip and popped it into his viewer.  He listened
carefully to the report that Soren gave.  Christine's condition was
worsening.

When the message ended, he looked at Spock with a grave expression.
"I'm afraid there's nothing else to be done, Spock.  He's doing all that
is medically possible.  I don't know of anything else he can do."

Spock closed his eyes for a few moments, then opened them and asked,
"Doesn't preeclampsia usually not occur until after the 20th week of
pregnancy?"

"Normally that's the case, Spock," began Dr. McCoy.  "I would theorize
that the Vulcan/Human genetics are a factor here.  There was a case of a
Rigelian/Human pregnancy in which it happened.  Rigelian and Vulcan
physiology are similar."

"If she develops preeclampsia, then I will be taking immediate leave
time to be with her.  I will not permit her to go through this alone."
His face was a mask of determination.

"That will be good for both of you," answered Dr. McCoy softly.  "The
Captain has already promised you that he will ensure you get that time
too."

*************************************************

Later that same week, Spock was notified by Sarek that Christine had
been taken to the hospital.  Preeclampsia had set her.  Her blood
pressure was 165/125, a high level of protein was present in her urine,
the nondependent edema had caused grotesque swelling of her face and
hands, and her platelet count had plummeted to 85,000/FL.

Spock immediately requested emergency leave.  Captain Kirk wasted no
time in granting his request.   He authorized Spock to be on indefinite
emergency leave.  He could only hope for Spock's sake that Christine and
the baby would survive.

*************************************************


Spock quietly entered Christine's hospital room.  His mother looked up
as he walked to the bedside.

"She's been resting quietly for the past hour.  The healers are giving
her steroids to mature the baby's lungs.  She's only sixteen weeks
pregnant right now.  If they can forestall the preeclampsia from
developing into eclampsia for nine more weeks, the baby has a reasonable
chance for survival."  His mother stood quietly.  "I'll let you sit with
her now.  I'll inform your father that you have arrived."  She gave his
hand a quick squeeze, then she left the room.

Spock sat down in the chair his mother had vacated and stared at
Christine.  Her face was swollen so badly that he could hardly recognize
her.  He lifted one of her hands into his own.  They looked as if they
might rupture if any pressure were applied.  She began to stir restless
in the bed.  She was murmuring, but Spock could not determine what she
was saying.  He presumed she was having a dream.  He was uncertain
whether to awaken her or not.

His problem was solved when she awoke with a gasp.  Tears trickled out
of her eyes as she came to awareness.

"You were having a dream, Christine," began Spock softly.

She stared at him in momentary confusion.  Then realized he had returned
to Vulcan.  "I can't take the dreams anymore," she in a heartbreaking
tone.  "Please, help me, Spock.  Help me," she pleaded.

"You are requesting my help.  Does this mean you wish for me to meld
with you when a dream occurs."  asked Spock.  He was not going to make
any assumptions about the meaning of her statement.

"Yes, " she whispered softly.

"I will meld with you when your sleep is troubled by dreams," Spock
assured her.

With a deep sigh of relief, she drifted back to sleep.  Spock sat
quietly watching her sleep.  She now trusted him enough to meld with her
to ease the dreams the pregnancy was causing her.  When would she trust
him enough to agree to become his bondmate.

Spock looked up as Soren entered the room.  "Soren, what is Christine's
prognosis?"

He gazed soberly at Spock.  "Currently, we are maintaining her
pregnancy.  I am not certain whether she will be able to make it to 25
weeks or not.  The steroids are helping the baby's lungs develop, but
they are developing more slowly than we anticipated.   I am going to
have to add koratrioxidine to the steroids.  The most serious side
effect will be muscular pain for Christine. An added stress which she
most certainly does not need."

"I wish to stay at her side here at the hospital," began Spock.  "I have
been granted emergency leave for as long as necessary.  Christine has
also requested that I meld with her to ease the dreams she has been
having."  Spock gazed impassively at Soren, waiting for his response.

"It will be beneficial for Christine to have you here.  The melds to
ease her dreams will also aide her in getting much needed sleep.  I
shall make the arrangements for you to stay here with her."

"Soren, how far along does she have to be for the baby to have a
chance?"  asked Spock quietly.

"It's difficult to say with any certainty, Spock.  There are many
variables. If the koratrioxidine works along with the steroids to mature
the infant's lungs, then as early as twenty-three weeks he may be able
to survive.  Twenty-three week babies have been known to survive, it is
still rare that they do, but with the drug therapies, the baby may
survive," answered Soren.

Soren checked all the monitors, then made some notes on his PADD.  He
turned to Spock before he left.  "I am going to order the new medication
to start immediately.  I will also change you to the person to authorize
her treatment.  She was too ill, so your parents were given the
responsibility.  It will be your decision if we have to take the baby
too early in order to save her life if eclampsia sets in."  Soren stared
gravely at Spock,  and hoped his friend would not have to make that
decision.

"I understand, Soren," Spock said softly.

As Soren left the room, Spock sat down by Christine's bedside again.  He
already knew what his choice would be.  It might not be what Christine
would choose, but he would have them take the baby early and risk losing
him, rather than lose both of them.  He knew that if Eclampsia set in
that death would be certain for both of them if the baby was not
delivered immediately.

The door slid open and T'Pau walked in.  Spock rose and offered the
Vulcan salute.   "T'Pau, we are honored by your presence."

She nodded.  "I must speak with you, Spock."

He gestured to the other chair in the room.  She sat down.  "Will you
fulfill your responsibility to Christine and take her as your bond
mate?"

"I intend to, T'Pau.  I have been trying to gain Christine's trust.  It
has been a slow process.  She has asked me to meld with her to help ease
the telepathic dreams she has suffered from due to the pregnancy," Spock
replied.

"What are your plans for this child, he will be three quarters human.
Do you intend to allow him to find his own way, or will he follow the
Vulcan way?"  Her gaze never wavered from his face.

"He will be permitted to chose his own path.  It is my intention,
provided that Christine agrees for our son to explore both sides of his
heritage.  It would be illogical to force him to follow the Vulcan way
when he is only one quarter Vulcan."  Spock gazed impassively at T'Pau,
wondering what her reaction would be.

"That is a wise decision, Spock."  She glanced at Christine.  "Christine
is a brave woman.  Many women in her position would have terminated the
pregnancy. She has made every effort to carry your child.  She has much
more honor and dignity than your former bondmate."  T'Pau's eyes blazed
as she recalled T'Pring's treachery.

"Christine is a remarkable woman," answered Spock softly.

"I must take my leave of you now, Spock.  I have done my duty as leader
of our clan.   Continue in your duties to her."  She rose and left the
room quietly.

Spock looked back at Christine.  She had slept through his discussion
with T'Pau.  Christine was so unlike T'Pring.  T'Pring's cold logical
reasoning with no regard for life as long as it meant getting what she
wanted had been a bitter experience.   Her treachery had made her his
property.  However, believing he had killed the Captain, he had wanted
no part of T'Pring.  He had given her over to Stonn.  As property,
T'Pring would never again have most of the rights that other Vulcans
had.  Somehow, he knew that Christine would never betray him.  He
remembered sharing consciousness with her.  He had discovered her fierce
sense of loyalty and faithfulness.

Christine began to stir restlessly on the bed.  Spock stood up and
watched her.  It soon became apparent that she was having a nightmare.
He carefully placed one hand in position on her head and the other on
her swollen stomach.   He gently melded with Christine and the baby.
Joy surged through his mind as the baby realized that he could sense the
presence of both of his parents.  The troubling images in Christine's
dream changed to peaceful ones.  Spock dropped his barriers further and
permitted his feelings for her to show.   Happy scenes of family life
the baby and Spock longed for filled the dream instead of the confused
images of a family torn asunder.  Then the dreams receded and Christine
drifted into a deeper sleep.

Spock settled himself in the chair beside her bed.  He had so longed to
deepen the meld and bond with her.  However, he would have to wait for
Christine to be ready for the commitment bonding entailed.  She was the
one he wanted.  No other woman would do.
He glanced at the opening door.  A nurse walked in with a bag of IV
solution.  She quickly and efficiently added the solution to the other
fluids that dripped from the dangling bags into her veins.

Looking at Spock, the nurse said, "I will be bringing lunch trays for
both of you within the hour.  Later today, you will receive a menu to
select your meal for supper as well as tomorrow's meals."

Spock nodded, and she left the room.  He turned his attention to the IV
bags.  He was grateful that there was medical knowledge available to
help Christine.  Soren had explained to him that with any future
pregnancies she could be given preventive treatments for eclampsia as
soon as pregnancy was confirmed and perhaps avoid it all together.

Christine stirred on the bed.  Spock immediately stood up, prepared to
initiate another meld if her dreams had returned.  In a few seconds, her
eyes flickered open.  She stared at Spock sleepily.

"They will be bringing your lunch within the hour.  If you wish to sleep
until it arrives, I can awaken you at that time,"  said Spock softly.

She shook her head.  "I'll stay awake for now."  She reached for the bed
controls and raised the head of the bed up.  Glancing up at the bags of
IV solution, she saw that Soren had indeed added the Koratrioxidine.  "I
see that Soren has added the Koratrioxidine to my treatments."  She
sighed and continued.  "That will help mature the baby's lungs.  The
steroids alone weren't working fast enough.  It has a few side effects,
but I can handle them."

"I am willing to massage your sore muscles, Christine," stated Spock.

She nodded her consent.  "How many days will you be here this time,
Spock?"

"I have been granted as much time as necessary by Captain Kirk.  I will
be staying here at the hospital with you.  I do not want you to have to
bear this alone," answered Spock.

"Has Soren transferred the responsibility for treatment decisions over
to you, Spock?"

"Yes he has, Christine.  He said you were considered 'too ill' to make
decisions for yourself,"  answered Spock.

"Good," she whispered softly.  "I'm glad your parents no longer have to
be burdened with the decisions that you and I should be making."  She
stared intently at him.   "Make sure they do everything they can to save
our baby."

Spock closed his eyes.  The term 'our baby' filled his heart with hope.
"As long as eclampsia does not occur, Soren thinks you will be able to
make it to the twenty-five week mark, at which our baby should be able
to survive with intensive neo-natal care.  Considering your health and
that of the baby, I think it is best that unless your health improves
dramaticly, that the baby should be taken at twenty-five weeks."

"With medical technology, a twenty-five week infant can usually
survive," agreed Christine.  Her mind drifted to the meld Spock had
initiated during her dream.  The baby had seemingly sensed the minds of
both of his parents joined.  The images of her dream had so changed.  As
Spock's mind touched hers, he had lowered his barriers and she had seen
so much of his submerged feelings for her.

"Spock, thank you for melding with me during the dream.  Normally I
awaken from my dreams, but your presence in my thoughts was very
calming.  i was able to stay asleep."

Spock did not reply with the standard 'One does not thank logic.'
Instead, he answered, "I am grateful that I was able to be of assistance
to you."  He wondered if she had sensed his deeper thoughts as he had
dropped the barriers further and let his feelings for her be bared to
her mind.

Tears welled up in her eyes, and her fingers of the hand without the IV
needles tapped the sheet nervously.  "It was a beautiful experience  to
feel and know so much more of your inner self."

Spock gently took her swollen hand into his.  "The experience was
furfiling for me as well."  He gently squeezed her hand.  She returned
as much pressure as she was able to with her very swollen hand.

The door slid open, and the nurse entered with a tray.  Christine
started to pull her hand away, not wanting Spock to be embarassed by the
display.  However Spock did not loosen his grip on her hand.  The nurse
set the tray on the bed table before Christine.  Without a word or
reaction, the nurse left and returned bearing Spock's tray.  She sat it
on the bed side table.  Looking at Christine she said, "Try to eat as
much of your lunch as possible.  While it is true that you are receiving
nutrients via your IV, solid food is still better for your system."

"I'll try T'Leah," she said with a soft smile.

She began to eat very slowly.  Soren had prescribed a special diet for
her.  The food was good.  As she ate, she reflected on all the things
she'd been permitted to see during the meld.  She thought perhaps it was
not duty alone that had caused Spock to be so concerned for her.

Spock watched her eat as he ate his lunch.  She was eating and not
restlessly picking at her food.  Also, unlike his late visit with her,
she was not so tired that she had no interest in the food.  The meld had
prevented the dream from waking her.  He would continue to meld with her
to prevent the dreams from waking her up.  At the same time, he could
reveal his inner self as she called it.  The revelations today appeared
to have had quite an effect on her.

"Spock," began Christine in a quiet voice.  "I think we need to discuss
what to name the baby."

He nodded.  "I agree.  Did you have any names in mind?"

"I like your great grandfather's name.  Sodar is what I would like to
call him.  That does not mean I want him raised strictly to be a Vulcan
though.  I want him to choose his own path to follow."

"As do I," replied Spock.  "T'Pau came to see me while you were
sleeping.  She inquired of me about the plans for our son's upbringing.
I told her he would be allowed to explore both sides of his heritage and
do what he thought best for himself."

"I want him to be exposed to both cultures.  That way he can decide
which way he wants to go."  Christine grew quiet for a few moments, then
continued.  "Soren says that our son appears to have more telepathic
sensativity than other infants do in the womb."

"I noticed that when I melded with the two of you," said Spock.

She smiled, "Soren says that may be another reason why I have been
experiencing such intense dreams.  Although if your melding to ease the
dreams works as well every time as it did today, I don't the images will
be nearly as disturbing as they were."

Spock took her hand in his.  "I'll be here for you, Christine.  I will
ease the dreams for you."

Tears swam in her blue eyes.  "Spock, you are so kind to me, when I've
been so distant towards you...."  She closed her eyes against the
stinging tears that threatened to overwhelm her.

Spock moved closer and drew her into his arms being cautious not to
disturb the IV lines.
She allowed him to hold her, reveling in the comfort it afforded her.

Spock's arms tightened around Christine as she wept.   He rocked her
soothingly, but said nothing.  After a few minutes, she pulled away with
an embarrassed expression on her face.

"I'm sorry, Spock...." she began.

He placed his fingers over her lips to forestall her apology.  "Never
apologize for being who you are Christine."  He gently brushed away her
tears.  "You are a sensitive, compassionate person.  There is no need to
apologize for your tears.  I offered you comfort because I wished to do
so."

She stared wordlessly at him.  He was so changed now from the man he had
been in the three years she'd served with him on the Enterprise.  She
nodded slowly and then picked up her fork and resumed eating, not
trusting herself to speak.

Spock understood she was pondering his words to her and trying to sort
out her own bewildered feelings.  So he continued his lunch.  They ate
in silence, each thinking about the future that was yet to come.

Finally, Christine sat her fork down and rolled the bed tray away.
"That's all I can eat,"     she said with a sigh.

Spock looked at the almost empty dishes on her tray.  "You ate most of
your meal.  That is good."  He noticed how weary she seemed.  "Perhaps
you should attempt to sleep now.  You appear to be quite fatigued."

She nodded slowly.  "I am rather tired.  It seems all that I do is eat
and sleep.  Soren said that I would continue to feel this way until the
baby is delivered."  She sighed deeply.

"Go to sleep, Christine," whispered Spock.  "I'll be here for you if
disquieting dreams disturb your sleep."  He reached over and used the
controls to lower the bed.  Then, he carefully adjusted her covers to
ensure she was comfortable.

"Thank you, Spock," she said in a drowsy tone.  Her eyelids drifted shut
and she fell into a tranquil sleep.

Spock sat back in his chair and watched her sleep.  She was one of the
most courageous women he had ever known.  She was also loyal and
compassionate.  She was so many things that T'Pring had not been.
Thoughts of T'Pring's stinging betrayal surfaced.  He knew that when he
did finally bond with Christine, that she would never betray him as
T'Pring had done.

He recalled the first time he had become aware of Christine's attraction
to him.  She had been infected by the virus that had swept so quickly
through the ship.  He had been unable to return her feelings.  The bond
with T'Pring would have been forever between them.  Later on, after the
disastrous mission to find her fiancee, Roger Korby, she had decided to
stay on board the Enterprise.  She had taken a posting because the
Enterprise was headed to the planet where Dr. Korby's last known
location had been.  It had been some time since he had been heard from.
Her doctorate in research biology and her outstanding work in the field,
in addition to being a nurse, had made Starfleet very eager to place her
on any starship with a posting available.  She had been able to pick and
choose.  Starfleet had also agreed to let her transfer to an assignment
that would allow her to work with Dr. Korby if he could be found.  He
had admired her loyalty to choose a position as a head nurse on a
starship to find her fiancee, who so many presumed dead, when with her
experience she could pick and choose to go anywhere in Starfleet.

He recalled the agonizing memories of his first Pon Farr.  Noticing he
had not been eating, and knowing his resistant nature to visiting
sickbay, she had taken him some soup.  Her role as head nurse made her
responsible for the health and well being of the crew, just as Dr.
McCoy's role of Chief Medical Officer made him responsible for the
crew's health.  She left his quarters and darted out of the way of the
bowl he had hurled out behind her.

Later, she entered his quarters to inform him of the ship's course
change to Vulcan.  Before she had a chance to speak, he began softly
talking to her.  He had gently wiped tears from her cheek.  He knew if
he did not resolve the Pon Farr he would die.  He wanted her to help him
resolve it.  He could barely even sense T'Pring in his mind.  He had
tried to reach out to her, but she seemed so distant and cold.  She
quickly curtailed his speech and told him of the ship was diverting to
Vulcan.  There was nothing else to do but retreat and wait to be joined
with T'Pring.

He reflected how she had been so caring and compassionate to the
children who had lost their parents.  The Enterprise had been sent to
investigate strange messages from the scientists. Upon arriving, they
had only found the children alive.   After Gorgon had been revealed to
the children as the evil entity he was, and they had realized that their
parents were dead and never coming back, she had spent sleepless nights
comforting the children until they were turned over to their families.

He thought of the time when he had been wounded on the planet Neural.
He had been aware of holding his hand.  Somewhere in the recesses of his
memory, he recalled his own mother holding his hand when he had been
ill.  He had seen Christine hold many hands in sickbay.  He had heard
her talk to them in soft whispers, reassuring them that they would be
all right.  Her compassion for the sick knew no bounds.

He recalled with grief their mission to Platonius.  Her pleas to him to
make them stop had been heart rending.  The powerlessness he felt as
they were forced to engage in intercourse had enraged him.  If he had
taken control of the situation instead of Kirk, he would have had to use
extreme restraint not to allow Alexander to kill Parmen where he sat.
Christine had no idea how much hidden meaning had been in his statement,
"I'm deeply sorry, I have failed you."

Christine's restless stirring brought him back to the present.  Clearly,
she was dreaming again and it was becoming distressing.  He moved to the
bedside and initiated the meld.

Christine sat with a small sobbing child in her lap.  "Why doesn't my
father love me?"

"Sodar, he does love, you," she whispered in an anguished voice.

"No he doesn't," sobbed Sodar.  "If he did, he'd come to see me more
often.  Volek's father is on a starship, and he sees his son every three
months."

Tears swam in her eyes.  "Sodar, your father loves you.  He does not
come around often because he doesn't care for me anymore."

"No," Spock spoke to both of the quietly through the bond.  "I do care
for you, Christine.  I care for and my son.  I will never neglect either
of you."

Sodar looked at his father standing on the patio before them.  He sensed
his father's barriers and looked sadly at him.  Spock, sensing his son's
feelings of isolation, dropped his shielding completely.  He allowed his
feelings for both Sodar and Christine to flow freely in the bond.
Christine stood with Sodar in her arms and walked slowly towards Spock.
He opened his arms to them and Christine moved into the protective,
loving embrace of her son's father.

Spock sensed Christine's dream fading and as soon as he was certain the
dream had ended, he eased out of her mind.  In spite of everything,
Christine's sub conscious still harbored some doubts.  He could scarcely
blame her.  Prior to her becoming pregnant with his child, he had
maintained a distance.  Reflecting on the distance he had maintained, he
knew he had feared committing to her as much as she now feared
committing to him now.  His fears had been completely illogical.  He now
realized his fear of rejection when they were on the Enterprise was the
same fear Christine now had.

He settled back into the chair by her bed.  Soon, she would overcome her
fear and see that he truly loved her, even as Sarek loved Amanda.  He
determined that every time he melded with her to ease the dreams his
mental shields would be dropped allowing her to see his true feelings
concerning her.  Soon, they would be bondmates.

 An hour and a half later, Christine awakened.  She recalled the love
she had felt flowing from Spock as he melded with her to soothe her
dream.  She glanced over at the chair beside her bed.

     "Are you well rested from your nap, Christine?" he asked softly.

     "Yes, thanks to your meld," she whispered.  She grimaced in pain.

     Becoming concerned, Spock stood to his feet.  "You are in pain,
shall I summon the nurse?"

     She shook her head.  "It's just the muscle spasms caused by the
medication."

     "I will massage the painful muscles for you, if you will permit
me," said Spock softly.

     She nodded slowly.  "It's my neck and shoulders.  I'll roll over on
my side.  Soren does not me to lie on my stomach."  She rolled slowly to
her side, so that her back was to Spock.

     Earlier, he had noticed a bottle of lotion on the night stand near
the bed.  He picked up and squeezed and generous amount into his hand.
He rubbed his hands together briefly, and then began gently massaging
her spasming muscles.  He felt the tight contracting muscles as he
worked on her shoulders.  He observed Christine wince, as he massaged
her painful muscles.

     "Am I applying too much pressure," he asked softly.

     "No," she whispered.  She concentrated on relaxing as Spock rubbed
the aching muscles.  Finally after forty-five minutes of massage, the
spasms abated.  Spock felt the muscles lose their final bit of tension.
"Thank you, Spock," she said quietly.  "The spasms have stopped.  As she
began to roll onto her back, Spock gently supported her body, assisting
her in moving back.  He then began adjusting the covers and the bed to
make her more comfortable.

     "Where did you learn to be such a good 'nurse,' Spock?"  She asked
with a small smile.

     Spock gazed at her with a bemused expression.  "From being under
your care in sickbay, Christine.  You always took great pride in making
all your patients as comfortable as possible."

     "That was my job.  Too often now, nurses forget to take pride in
their work.  They don't take the time to make the effort to really meet
their patients' needs," said Christine earnestly.

     "Do you feel the nursing staff here is not making proper efforts to
meet your needs, Christine?"  asked Spock.

     "The nurses here have been wonderful.  They've taken excellent care
of me."  She gave him a demure smile.  "So have you."  They stared at
each other for a few moments in silence.

     "I want to do whatever it takes to help you, Christine."  He took
her swollen hand gently in his own.  "I will stay at here at your side
through all of this."

     She stared at him, emotions she thought long dead, came to life.
Just as she was about to speak, the door slid open.  T'Leah entered the
room.  "Spock, you need to leave the room long enough for me to give
Christine a bed bath."  Her tone allowed no room for debate.

     Spock released Christine's hand.  "I will return as soon as the
nurse permits me to, Christine."

     "Spock, you've been here all day.  Why don't you take a walk while
T'Leah bathes me.  If  she finishes before you get back, I'll be okay by
myself for a while.  You need to get some fresh air."  Christine's smile
warmed him.  She was not sending him away, only trying to see that he
took care of his needs as well.

     "Very well, I will take a short walk."  He turned to T'Leah.  "How
long does it take for her bed bath?"

     "The time varies, Spock.  We have to be very careful with her IVs,
as well as not moving her anymore than necessary," said T'Leah.

     "Spock, you have to take care of yourself too," said Christine.
"Take about a 30 minute break.  By the time you're back, T'Leah should
be finished."

     He caressed her cheek gently.  "I will do as you request."  Without
further comment, he left the room.

     T'Leah filled a basin with warm water and began to bathe
Christine.  "Spock is quite concerned about you and the baby," she said.

     "Yes, he's taken emergency leave time to be here with us.  He's a
good man," answered Christine.

     "You are fortunate to have him at your side.  You are far more
worthy of him than his former bondmate ever was."  remarked T'Leah.

     Christine knew of T'Pring's betrayal of Spock.  She wondered what
had ever become of her.  She knew that by the ancient Vulcan law, that
she had become Spock's property.  Spock had given her over to Stonn, not
wishing to have anything to do with her.  "What ever became of T'Pring?"
she asked curiously.

     T'Leah stopped for a moment.  So much of this was steeped deep in
Vulcan tradition, they were things that were 'not to be discussed.'
However, she also felt Christine had a right to know, as Spock intended
for her to become his bondmate.  "She was Spock's property due to her
challenge.  Spock turned her over to Stonn, who desired her."  T'Leah's
voice grew noticeably colder as she explained T'Pring and Stonn's
treachery.  "Stonn was displeased that he was not the one chosen as her
champion, and therefore he keeps her in isolation.  I have no sympathy
for her.  She is in a situation of her own making."

     Christine glanced at T'Leah with a horrified expression on her
face.  "In isolation?  You mean she is not permitted to be in society?"

     "She knew what the consequences could be when she declared the
Kalifee.  She brought shame on our clan."  T'Leah began bathing her
again.  "As chattel, the only rights she has are the rights of food and
shelter.  If her owner wishes to give her more, he may.  Stonn has
chosen to only give her food and shelter.  He took another woman as his
mate."

     "Stonn was just as responsible as she was," protested Christine.

     "In a manner of speaking, he is.  However, she is the one who chose
Kalifee."  The finality in T'Leah's tone prevented Christine from asking
anymore questions.

     Shortly thereafter, T'Leah finished bathing her helped her into a
fresh hospital gown.  She looked at Christine with a very serious
expression.  "You should not discuss this with Spock.  It is a deeply
personal issue.  I shared with you what happened because I felt you
should know.  Know this as well, Spock will never mistreat you."  She
turned and left the room.

     Christine pondered what T'Leah had told her.  She knew enough about
the Vulcan culture to understand that a bondmate would never be treated
in such a fashion.  T'Leah had stressed to her that Spock would not
mistreat her.  Through the melds, she was beginning to realize that
Spock did truly care for her.  She felt her long dead emotions of love
and caring for Spock continue to kindle.  As she lay there still to
pondering these things, the man of her thoughts walked through the door.

     "Hello, Spock," she said with a surprised smiled.  She looked at
the chronometer.  It had been exactly thirty minutes since he left.
"Punctual as usual, I see," she said with a teasing grin.

     "I told you I would return in thirty minutes.  I did not want you
to be unduly concerned if I failed to return at the agreed upon time."

     "I wouldn't have been concerned, I would have assumed you were
delayed and would be here as soon as possible.  I.....I.....I trusted
you to come back."  She watched him carefully as he absorbed this
information.

     "You can trust me in all things, Christine," replied softly.  "I
realize I have done nothing to earn your trust.  However, I solemnly
swear to you that you can trust me in all things."

     Tears welled up in her eyes.  "I'm trying, Spock.   I really am.
This unexpected pregnancy has been so hard on me."  Tears trickled down
her cheeks.

     Spock gathered her in his arms as he sat on the side of the bed.
"Shh, Christine," he murmured softly.  "I know you are trying.  I am
deeply sorry that you are having such a difficult pregnancy."  He paused
for a few moments, then asked, "May I touch your mind and soothe you in
the Vulcan manner?"  His tone was soft and gentle.  Every fiber in his
being cried out for him to meld with her.  It was the Vulcan way.

     Unable to speak through her tears, she nodded hesitantly.  There
was enough physical contact between them that he needed only to reach
out to her mind with his.  Confusion and sorrow wracked her mind.  His
mind move into this storm of emotion and soothed her.  He had abandon
all barriers and shields in his mind.  A peacefulness settled over her.
She felt his contentment at being able to help her.  A sense of warmth
and love engulfed her.  She very timidly reached out to Spock with her
mind.  He accepted her with warmth and welcome.  Her breathing slowed
and became steady.  He sensed her fatigue through the meld.  **Go to
sleep, Christine, I shall withdraw from your mind when you fall
asleep.**  He sensed her agreement.

     Slowly, sleep claimed her mind.  Once she was fully asleep, he
withdrew his mind from hers and gently eased her down onto the bed.  He
tenderly touched her swollen stomach for a few moments, then he adjusted
her covers.  Satisfied she was comfortable, he bent over and brushed a
soft kiss on her forehead.

     Settling himself back in his chair, he knew that soon, when he
asked her to bond with him she would agree.  She had begun to trust him
again.  He vowed to never do anything that would betray that trust.

Later that evening, just before supper, Christine woke up.  She looked
over at Spock who was sitting in the chair by the bed.

Sensing her scrutiny, he met her eyes with his own.  She smiled
hesitantly.  The comfort from the meld lingered in her mind.  She could
feel love flowing when he melded with her.  If only he would verbalize
that love.

She used the controls to raise the bed, so that she was in a
semi-sitting position.  "They should be bringing us supper soon."  She
chuckled softly.

"Do you find supper amusing, Christine?" asked Spock lightly.  He was
pleased to see that she appeared to be happy.

"No, it just seems all I've done today is eat and sleep," she replied.

"You needed the rest, Christine," answered Spock softly.

"I feel more rested than I have for days, thanks to you," she responded
in a reticent tone.

Whatever his response was going to be was cut off by the door opening.
T'Leah brought in Christine's tray.

"Christine, the dietitian was pleased with the way you managed to eat
most of lunch.  Try to do equally well with your supper."  She turned to
Spock.  "I will return with your tray and a menu for tomorrow shortly."

After T'Leah had brought Spock his tray, they both began to eat.  Spock
carefully observed Christine as she ate.  Her appetite appeared to be
greatly improved.

Christine noticed Spock watching her and smiled at him.  "I'm eating,
Spock."  She looked at his plate which still had most of his food on
it.  "You need to eat too.  Sodar needs both of his parents to be
healthy and strong."

Spock nodded, "Yes, he does."  He began eating his meal, still watching
Christine.

She was aware he was still observing her as she ate.  However she didn't
really mind.  She knew he was acting out of his concern for her and
their unborn child.  Sighing, she took another bite of food.

"What made you sigh, Christine?" queried Spock.

"It's just that tonight I feel more at peace with myself than I have for
a long time," she explained.

"I am gratified to hear that," he said quietly.

"I hope the new medication is helping to speed up the maturation of the
baby's lungs."  One of her hands dropped to rest on the swell that was
their son.

"If that doesn't work, Soren will continue working to find a way to
speed up the maturation process," answered Spock in a comforting tone.

She nodded, "I know he will.  I don't think he will have to though, the
koratrioxidine usually works.  It only fails 5.237% of  the time."  She
continued eating her meal.

Spock noticed her sudden lapse into silence.  "Christine, the percentage
is definitely in your favor."

She nodded and continued to eat.  Spock knew instinctively that he
should not press the issue at this time.  So he turned his attention to
eating his supper.

Finally, she laid her fork down.  She picked up her napkin and wiped her
mouth.  "I think the dietitian will be quite pleased.  I've eaten
everything on my tray.  I haven't done that since I was put in the
hospital."

Spock looked at her with a pleased expression.  "He will be indeed.  I
am also pleased to see that you were able to complete your entire meal."

At that moment, an orderly came in and took the trays away.

Spock noted that Christine's eyes were growing heavy again.  "Perhaps
you should try to sleep again, Christine."

She nodded, "I'm afraid we won't be able to talk tonight."  She rubbed
her hand over her face.  "I'm just too sleepy to stay awake."

"I understand," said Spock.  He stood next to the bed.  He used the
controls to lower her bed.  "I shall endeavor to make you more
comfortable, so that your slumber might be more restful."  With careful
moves, he adjusted her covers.  Spock looked down into her beautiful
eyes.  He longed to kiss her as he had done earlier as she slept, but he
was uncertain if she would allow it.  So he merely took her hand in
his.  "I'll be here all night, Christine."

She smiled at him.  "Good, but you need to sleep too."

"I'll sleep, but will awaken if you need me."  The fact that they both
shared the same dreams would ensure that Spock would awaken each time
she began dreaming.

Slowly, her eyes drifted shut.  When he was certain she was asleep, he
set her hand back down on the bed and sat down in the chair and allowed
himself to doze.

Spock and Christine watched quietly as Soren checked the monitors and
made notes.  They were hoping the news would be good.  When he finished,
Soren sat in a chair facing them.  His impassive expression made it
impossible to draw any conclusions about what he was about to tell them.

"I have been informed that you have eaten more the past 3 meals,
Christine.  That will be helpful in maintaining your health.  The
treatments are continuing to forestall the onset of eclampsia.  Our
efforts on maturing the baby's lungs utilizing the koratrioxidine in
conjunction with the steroids we were previously using are proving to be
more effective.  There was a two percent increase in lung tissues
development from yesterday's readings.  Previous readings were less than
..347 percent increases.  If the development of the lung tissues continue
in this manner, then we should be able to take the baby at twenty-five
weeks as we have discussed."

Spock nodded slowly.  "What will our son's chances of survival be at
that time provided that the lung tissue development remains stable?"  He
looked at Christine, and seeing that she was in need of support, took
her hand as they waited for Soren's reply.

"I would estimate his chances of survival to be 87.247 % or higher.  We
have an excellent Neo Natal Intensive Care Unit here at the hospital,"
replied Soren.

"Soren," began Christine in a shaky voice.  "Is it my fault that this
pregnancy has been so difficult.  If I had immediately sought the
services of the Vulcan Academy of Science's Hospital, could this have
been avoided?"  She tightened her grip on Spock's hand, not really sure
if she wanted to hear Soren's answer or not.

Spock answered her tightened grip by gently squeezing her hand.  He
looked down at her guilt ridden eyes.  He saw she sincerely believed
that the problems with her pregnancy were her fault.

"No, Christine," answered Soren.  He looked at her earnestly.  "You must
understand that everything you did for yourself was done as it would
have been done here.  Problems such as these occur with some
pregnancies.  You are not to blame."

Tears began to trickle down her checks.  Spock began gently wiping them
away.

Soren stood up.  "I will take my leave of both of you now."

Spock looked at him and nodded.  He realized that Soren was leaving to
give them privacy.  He turned his attentions to comforting Christine.
He drew he into his arms.

Her words tumbled out, accompanied by choking sobs of relief.  "It's not
my fault, Spock.  I was so afraid it was my fault."

"Shhh, Christine," whispered Spock soothingly.  "You were not at fault.
I know how hard you have tried to maintain this pregnancy."  His arms
tightened around her.  He fully understood the profound jeopardy the
pregnancy placed on her very life.  He cherished her courage that
permitted her to place her own life ahead of  the life of their unborn
child.  He sincerely hoped he would not lose either one of them.

Christine slowly stopped trembling.  Spock's powerful arms were so
comforting.  She recalled the dreams from last night.  There had been
three, and each time she had sensed Spock's comforting presence ease
away the distressing, confusing images.  The meld had filled her with a
sense of peace and love.  At least that is how she interpreted the
feelings.  If only Spock would tell her.  She longed to know if what she
sensed in the melds was genuine, or if it was merely wistful thinking.
She drew back and looked into his dark mysterious eyes.

Spock stared into her eyes.  They were like the sapphire that adorned
the IDIC pendant he had given her as a gift.  There was a longing in
those eyes.  He moved his face fractionally closer to hers.

She watched him, wondering what thoughts were racing through his mind.
She stared wordlessly as he moved his lips to gently brush hers.  The
kiss lasted mere moments, but stirred her soul deeply.

Spock drew her close to him once more.  The longing in her eyes had
compelled him to demonstrated just how much he cared for her.  He was
determined that she would understand just how much he loved her.
"Christine," he breathed her name soft as the downy fluff of baby
birds.  "Christine, my T'hy'la, my beloved...."  He buried his face
in hair.  He held her closely feeling her melt further into his arms as
his words sank in.

Christine buried her face in Spock's shoulder.  He had called her
T'hy'la, then my beloved....She felt more at home here  in his
arms than she had felt anywhere since her parents' deaths so many years
before.

"I do love you, Christine," he whispered gently.

She sighed.  How she had longed to hear those words.  "I love you too,
Spock," she replied in a tender voice.

They sat there in each others arms for a long time.  When her breathing
patterns indicated she had fallen asleep, Spock eased her down on the
bed.  He quietly adjusted her covers to ensure her comfort.

Sitting in his chair again, he watched as she slept.  He had finally
found the courage to tell her just how he felt.  When she had answered
him in like kind, his heart had soared to the heavens.  He had not lost
her as he had feared he had.  Soon, he would take her as his bondmate.
He hoped to be bonded to her prior to the birth of their son.  In a
little less than nine weeks, Soren would take the baby by performing a
C-section on Christine.  He wanted them to be bonded to Christine before
that occurred.

Christine had been asleep for almost two hours when she was jerked awake
by a severe cramping pain in her leg.  Her moan of pain spurred Spock
into action.  Seeing that she was clutching her leg, he began
immediately massaging the contracting muscles.

Christine gritted her teeth as Spock continued to rub the muscles in her
leg.  The spasms were extremely painful.  Finally, after half an hour of
work, her leg muscles relaxed.  She sighed in relief.  "Thank you,
Spock," she whispered as she wiped tears from her cheeks and eyes.

"You're welcome, Christine," answered Spock as he pulled the covers back
over her legs.  He moved up to the head of the bed and stared down at
her.  If only there were some way to block her pain that would not
endanger the baby.  He gently stroked her cheek.

She stared up at him quietly.  His touch stirred so many emotions in
her.  Her trust in Spock which had been so badly damaged by her fears
was almost completely restored.  His profession of his feelings for her
had strengthened it even more.

The door slid open, and an aide brought in Christine's lunch tray.
Spock quickly withdrew as the tray was set on Christine's bed table.
Then the aide left, returning quickly with Spock's tray as well.

Christine lifted the covers off her dishes and smiled in delight.  Her
favorite soup steamed invitingly.  There was also a fresh garden salad
along with the tasty Vulcan bread she had become of fond of.  "This is a
great lunch."  She looked over to Spock.  "What did they serve you
Spock?"

"Plomeek soup, a salad, and Kasab bread," answered Spock.  "It appears
we both have excellent meals to eat."  He gave her an encouraging look,
"Try to eat all of your lunch.  I know you are fond of Potato Soup.  The
salad contains both Earth and Vulcan vegetables you enjoy, and I am well
aware of your fondness for the Kasab bread as well.  Consuming all of
your lunch will help you maintain your current level of health, and
possibly improve it."  He picked up his spoon.  "It would also greatly
pleasure me to see you eat and enjoy your lunch."

Christine picked up her spoon with a smile.  "I'll do my best, Spock.  I
seem to have more appetite.  Because you are melding with me to ease my
dreams, I am not experiencing as high of a level of stress as I had been
previously.  That has certainly improved my appetite."  She began
eating.

They ate their lunches in a companionable silence.  Spock, wanting her
to stay focused on her meal, did not engage her in conversation.
Christine wondered at Spock's sudden silence.  She was not unduly
disturbed by it, though.  The glances that stole her way every few
minutes were warm and caring.

After finishing the last bite of her meal, Christine pushed the bed
table away.  Spock noticed the movement, and came to stand at her
bedside once more.

"I can bring your dental hygiene supplies if you wish to brush your
teeth now, Christine," offered Spock.

"Thank you, Spock," she answered with a smile.  "I would like to brush
my teeth before I fall asleep again."

He quickly retrieved the necessary articles and sat them on the bed
table.

"Why don't you do your dental care while I do mine, Spock.  I can manage
by myself.  I appreciate all the help and care you are giving me, but I
worry about you neglecting your needs."

Christine's concerned expression encouraged him to do as she requested.
He did not want to cause her any unnecessary worry.  "Very well, I'll
will attend to my dental hygiene needs while you attend to yours."  He
walked into the bathroom, and she began preparations to brush her teeth.

Just as she finished, Spock stepped out of the bathroom.  He came and
took the dental care supplies off of the bed table.  "I will return
these to their storage area."

"Thanks, Spock," she whispered sleepily.  She pressed the control to
lower her bed.  "I'm really tired, so I am going to sleep for a while."

"Sleep well, Christine," said Spock softly.  He bent down and brushed a
gentle kiss on her lips.  Then he dimmed the lights, and took her dental
hygiene supplies to the bathroom.


Spock and his parents entered Christine's room.  She set down a PADD she
had been reading.

Spock noticed that her arm with the IVs was now in a brace.  He hurried
to her bedside.

"Why have they placed your arm in a brace, Christine?  Have you been
injured?"  asked Spock in a concerned voice.

She smiled reassuringly.  "No, it's just to keep my hand stable so the
IVs won't be compromised.  I had a bad cramp in my arm while T'Leah was
here.  She consulted Soren, and both thought it would be best to use a
brace to stabilize my arm.  The IV lines could have easily been
damaged."

Spook took her hand in his.  "Yet another thing for you to endure."  His
dark eyes were somber.

"I don't mind, Spock.  My goal right now is to maintain this pregnancy
long enough so that our son will survive."  Her steady gaze encouraged
him.

He sat in his customary place at her bedside.  They all continued to
visit for brief time, until an aide brought in Christine's tray.

Sarek and Amanda rose.  "We will take our leave of both of you now,"
said Sarek quietly.

"Good evening, Mother and Father," said Spock softly.

"Good evening, Sarek and Amanda," answered Christine.

They left quietly.  Christine began picking at her meal.  Spock watched
her in concern as the aide brought him his tray.

"Is there something troubling you, Christine?  You appear to be
distracted," said Spock.

"I'm just not very hungry," she said in a discouraged voice.  She
scooped up a spoonful of soup and put it in her mouth.  She forced
herself to swallow it.

"Is there something else you would prefer to eat?" asked Spock.

"No, I'll eat this," answered Christine quietly.  She continued eating
in silence.

Spock could tell she was forcing herself to eat.   He quietly ate his
meal, sensing she was not in a talkative mood.

Later that evening, he played soothing music on his lyrette for her.
The music was easing her tension.  Slowly she dropped off to sleep.
When he was certain that she was sleeping deeply, he put his lyrette
aside.

He moved to stand by her bedside.  Her face had a peaceful, happy
expression on it.  Christine was a remarkable woman.  He regretted not
having seen that fact much sooner.  Eventually, she would be his.


*************************************************

Several weeks passed.  Soren's treatments were managing to keep
Christine stable.  There had been a few frightening episodes, but the
hospital staff had been prepared, and their interventions had saved
Christine and her baby.

Spock looked at Christine carefully.  Their child would be delivered by
C-section in two more weeks.  During the past several weeks they had
grown closer.  He had noticed a longing in her mind during melds to ease
her episodes of bizarre, nightmarish dreams.  He was about to ask her to
become his bondmate.  He so wanted to be bonded with her prior to the
birth of their son.  He believed she was ready.  Each time his mind
touched hers, he felt her love and acceptance.  He felt that she now
trusted him, and realized the depth of his feelings for her.

"Spock, you've been staring at me for the past five minutes," said
Christine with a chuckle.  "What is it?"

He took her that was free of IV needles into both of his.  He look
directly into her lovely blue eyes.  "I wish for you to become my
bondmate.  I have wished that for some time now.  Spending these weeks
with you has intensified that desire."

Her eyes flooded with tears.  He had not given up on her.  He still
wished to bond with her.  She felt more love for him in that moment than
she had ever felt before.

"Yes, Spock," she whispered softly.  "I will bond with you."

Spock's hands tightened their hold on her hand.  "I shall contact my
parents to have the proper arrangements made.  If you have no
objections, I would like for us to be bonded as soon as possible.  I
want us to have the bond to strengthen us for what we must face in two
weeks."

She nodded soberly.  Soren had stated the baby would probably survive,
but there was a chance he would not.  If little Sodar failed to survive,
they would both need the support that being bonded would provide them.

"I am willing to bond with you as soon as arrangements can be made," she
answered softly.

He bent down and kissed her.  The kiss started tenderly, and slowly grew
passionate.

After a bit, Spock pulled back.  "I shall contact my parents.  They will
make the arrangements."

She nodded her head slowly.  The kiss had affected her deeply.  The
taste of Spock's tongue was still in her mouth.  She had felt a light
mental touch as his tongue had brushed the inside of her mouth.  That
mental touch had been so filled with his love for her that she was
almost overwhelmed.  Bonding was the right thing to do.


 Spock stood by Christine's bed looking into her blue eyes, as T'Pau and his
 parents seated themselves in nearby chairs.  Today was their bonding.  His
 parents had made the necessary arrangements quickly.  It had only been two days
 ago that Christine had agreed to bond with him.  Now, today the bonding ceremony
 would take place.

 Christine stared up at Spock.  Today, she would become his bondmate.  It was as
 legal and binding as a human marriage.  They would still have to go through the
 Koon-ut-kal-if-fee ritual when he experienced his next Pon farr. However, after
 today, they would be bondmates.

 Spock looked to T'Pau and nodded, indicating they were ready.  She stood slowly.

 "Christine, daughter of Jesse, granddaughter of Harvey, do you come freely and
 of your own will to bond with this man?"

 "I do," she answered softly.

 "Spock, son of Sarek, son of Skon, do you come freely and of your own will to
 bond with this woman?"

 "I do," he answered quietly.

 "It is begun," intoned T'Pau.  "Spock, you may begin."

 Spock and Christine placed their hands in position on each other's faces.
 Christine's eyes closed as Spock began reaching into her mind.  She felt his
 mind touch hers.  Opening herself to him, she felt his mind merge with hers.

 **Christine, parted from me, yet never parted.  Never and always touching and
 touched.  I come to take thee as my bondmate.  Be thou one with me.**

 **Spock, parted from me, yet never parted.  Never and always touching and
 touched.  I come to thee to be thy bondmate.  I will be one with thee.**

 The meld deepened and they were completely open to each other.  Spock saw all
 the things that made Christine who she was.  She saw all the things that she had
 known about Spock.  The parts of him that others often missed.  The meld
 strengthened and she felt a sense of belonging flood her soul.

 After a time, Spock began to separate their merged minds.  As awareness washed
 over her, Christine felt Spock's mind slip out of hers.  Even though he had
 ended the meld, she could still sense his presence.  It was a comforting,
 reassuring feeling.

 T'Pau stepped forward.  "I will now verify the bonding."  She placed her hands
 on Spock and Christine's heads.  The light touch of her mind brushed across
 theirs, confirming the strength of their bond.

 She removed her hands and nodded.  "Thy bonding is complete.  I welcome thee to
 our family, Christine.  Spock has chosen his mate well."

 Sarek and Amanda stepped forward.  "My Children," began Sarek.  "May your lives
 be filled with peace and health."

 They quietly filed out of the room, giving Spock and Christine privacy.  As the
 door slid shut behind them, Spock bent down and kissed Christine.

 She slid an arm around him and returned his kiss with a surprising passion as
 his thoughts merged with hers.  He brushed his tongue over her lips.  She parted
 them eagerly.  Both of them sensed the other's desire and passion.

 **As soon as you are well, T'hy'la, then we will consummate our bonding.  We
 will become as one in all ways.**

 **Yes,** Christine answered him.  Images of what she wanted him to do at that
 time seared his mind.

 He pulled back and rewarded her with a slight smile.  "I shall endeavor to do
 all of that and more."

 She smiled at him.  Why had she resisted bonding with him for so long.  Why had
 she been so fearful of his motives.  He was the most gentle, kind person she'd
 ever known.  Her hands slid over her swollen stomach.  Their child would have
 both of his parents.

 Spock placed his large hands over her small ones.  "Our son's telepathic senses
 will be aware of our bonding.  Your dreams will change somewhat."

 She smiled at him.   "The bond will provide more security for him."  Her face
 became somewhat troubled.

 "What is it, Christine?"  He felt her fear through the bond.

 "In ten days, Soren will take the baby."  Her voice broke as she struggled
 against tears.

 Spock gathered her into his arms.  "It will all right, Christine.  Soren said
 that there is only a 12.347% chance that we will lose him.  I have every
 confidence that Sodar will survive."

 She buried her head against his broad chest.  A sense of comfort filled her.
 Their bond allowed Spock to comfort her more deeply than he ever had before. She
 would be his forever.  He now had the woman of his own choosing.



                 ******************************************


 The days passed quickly.   Tomorrow, Soren would perform a C-section and take
 Sodar.  Even with the support from their bond, Christine had become increasingly
 anxious and tense.  Her nightmares had grown very intense.  Fortunately, her
 bond with Spock had made his efforts to soothe her much more effective.  The
 medical staff was watching her very closely now.  Her vital signs had been
 fluctuating for the past three days.  Soren felt it was due to the stress she
 was under, but was taking no unnecessary chances.

 Spock looked at his bondmate as she stirred restless in the bed.  "Christine,
 would you like for me to play some music for you?"

 She looked at him for a few moments, then nodded.  He began playing a slow waltz
 on his lyrette.  As he played, he projected comfort through the bond.  He wished
 he could discover some way to reassure her that everything would be all right.
 It was hard to do, when he had concerns for the welfare of Christine and Sodar
 as well.  It took a great deal of effort to shield those thoughts from
 Christine.  He did not want her to be aware that he was also worried.

 He played for almost an hour before Christine had finally drifted off to sleep.
 Tomorrow morning at 0900 hours, the surgical procedure would be performed.
 Christine would remain hospitalized for several days in order for her to fully
 recover.  Soren felt she could be released in seven to ten days.  Sodar would
 quite probably spend most of his first year of life in the hospital.  He would
 be fifteen weeks short of being full term, and very vulnerable to any infection.
 The hospital would be the safest place for him.

 He stared at Christine as she slept.  He hoped that no dreams would plague her
 sleep tonight.  She had spent most of the day worrying about tomorrow's surgery.
 He forced his own worry and anxiety out of his mind, and fully opened his mind
 to hers.  Tonight he would stop any bad dreams before they could begin to
 distress her.  She would get the rest she needed tonight.....

 The next morning, T'Leah began prepping Christine for the procedure.  At 0830
 Sarek and Amanda arrived.  Christine was groggy from the IV she had been given
 during her surgical prep.  They stood quietly at her bedside next to Spock.

 "They will be taking her soon.  I will accompany her during the surgical
 procedure."

 Amanda nodded and whispered, "We'll wait in the family waiting area."  She
 noticed the troubled look in his eyes.  "Everything is going to be just fine,
 Spock, you'll see."

 He nodded in reply.  "I am certain it will be mother."

 Sarek put his hand on his son's shoulder in a gesture of silent support.

 Christine's eyes flickered open.  She saw Spock's parents standing with him at
 her bedside.  "What time is it, Spock?"

 He took her hand in his.  "They will be coming to take you into surgery very
 soon."

 Her eyes closed again.  Spock continued to hold her hand.  His parents stood at
 his side, lending their support.

 A few minutes later, the hospital staff came to take her to surgery.  He
 followed them into the surgical suite, while Sarek and Amanda took seats in the
 waiting area.

 After she was fully anesthetized, Soren began the procedure that had been
 planned with great care in the utmost detail.  Spock watched with care as Soren
 made the incisions.  After the incisions were made, he carefully lifted Sodar
 from his mother's body.  After his mouth and nose were suctioned, a weak wail
 filled the air.  Spock sighed, his son was alive, and Christine had survived the
 procedure as well.

 He sat with her in the recovery room holding her hand.  As she drifted in and
 out of consciousness, he assured her that both she and Sodar were fine.  They
 had won this battle.  Their son had survived being taken from his mother's womb
 15 weeks early.  The next battle would be keeping him alive.

 Soren entered the recovery room.  He checked the readouts, then turned to Spock.
 "Your son has stabilized for now.  He is receiving oxygen, but he is breathing
 on his own.  The treatments hasten the development of his lung tissue were
 effective.  However, this does not mean he will not have to use a ventilator in
 the future.  We will undoubtedly see fluctuations in his health as he adapts to
 life outside his mother's womb."

 "I understand, Soren," said Spock soberly.  "We both realize that Sodar's health
 will fluctuate.  I am also aware that you, along with the rest of the staff will
 do everything possible to help him."

 "Currently, he has a 89.247% chance of survival.  Somewhat better than we had
 previously anticipated.  I must attend to other patients now.  They will be
 moving Christine to her room again shortly.  She may see Sodar as soon as she
 wants to.  I shall see both of you later today."  With that, Soren left the
 room.

 Spock returned his attention to Christine.  He had seen how tiny Sodar was.  He
 hoped she would not be overly distressed when she saw him.

 *************************************************


 Later, in her room, when Christine had finally fully recovered from anesthesia,
 she turned to Spock.  "I would like to see Sodar, Spock."  Her voice was soft,
 and there was a note of apprehension in it.

 "I will get a wheelchair and take you to the neo-natal nursery," replied Spock.
 He cast a glance at his mother as he left the room.

 Amanda understood what he wanted her to do.  She walked over to the bed.
 "Christine, you need to be prepared for what you are going to see.  Sodar is
 very small.  He has oxygen and feeding tubes inserted in him."  She took
 Christine's hand in her own.  "It can be quite unsettling."

 "I know, Amanda,"  she said quietly.  "Can both of you come with us to see him."

 "We will accompany you," assured Amanda.

 At that moment, Spock returned with a wheelchair.  After being on complete bed
 rest for so long, Christine's legs were very unsteady.  Spock and Sarek helped
 her into the chair.  Then, Spock pushed the chair to the Neo-Natal Nursery while
 Sarek and Amanda followed.

 Spock wheeled her up to the Warming table that Sodar lay on.  Infants this
 premature were kept on Warming tables instead of in an incubator so that the
 Healers and Nurses had easy access to perform the many procedures needed without
 having to handle the infant excessively.

 Christine looked at the tiny form lying before her.  He only weighed 580 grams,
 and he was only 27.5 cm long.  Her dolls she had as a child had been bigger than
 that.  He looked so helpless.  The oxygen and feeding tubes were bigger in
 diameter than his fingers.  She felt Spock's hand touch her shoulder in a
 comforting manner.  She reached up and took his hand.  She felt comfort flowing
 through their bond.  Tears began welling up in her eyes.  Spock knelled beside
 her, and held her in his arms.  Instead of speaking, he comforted her via their
 bond.  Finally, her tears stopped.

 Spock gently wiped the vestiges of tears off her face.  "You need to return to
 bed and rest now, Christine.  T'Leah will be coming in to assist you in using a
 breast pump to get milk for Sodar."

 She nodded wearily.  Spock wheeled her back to her room.  He and Sarek helped
 her get back into her bed.

 Afterwards, Sarek and Amanda said their good-byes, and left so Christine could
 get some much needed rest.



                 ******************************************


 Later, after Christine had rested, T'Leah began instructing her in the use of a
 breast pump.  She had been given an injection to stimulate milk production.  Her
 breasts were swollen and tender.  She bore the discomfort without complaint,
 knowing her breast milk was the very best thing for Sodar.  Vulcan nutrients
 would be added to her breast milk to supplement Sodar's unique needs.

 She glanced up at T'Leah with a weary smile.  "I've gotten almost sixty cc's."

 T'Leah took the breast pump from her.  "That will be sufficient for this first
 attempt.  You should start slowly as to not make your breasts too sore."

 Christine nodded.  "I understand.  I don't want to do anything that would
 prevent me from being able to provide breast milk for Sodar."

 "I will return in three hours to assist you in using the breast pump again,"
 said T'Leah.  Then she left with the breast milk to prepare it for Sodar.

 Spock took his customary spot by her bed.  "Our son will grow strong with your
 breast milk to nourish him."

 She nodded slowly.  "I know.  I just wish Soren hadn't had to take him so soon.
 He is so tiny......."  Tears began to fill her eyes.

 Spock sat on the bed beside her and pull her into his arms.  ***Don't grieve,
 Christine.  It is not your fault.  Soren says Sodar is doing well.  The first
 seventy-two hours are the most critical.  Soren says he has never seen a
 premature baby have apgar scores as high as Sodar's.  So that is a good
 indication that he should thrive.***

 Christine snuggled close to Spock.  Being held by him and his mental assurances
 through their bond were so comforting.  Slowly her tears stopped.  She looked up
 at him as she wiped the tears from her eyes.  "I'm sorry I keep losing control."

 He kissed her gently.  "There is no need to apologize for your human reactions,
 Christine.  I rejoice in our differences."

 "I love you," she whispered softly.

 "I love you, too." he answered gently.

 They sat there wrapped in each others arms for a long time, drawing comfort and
 reassurance from one another.

                 ******************************************


 Sodar was two weeks old when Spock had to report back to the Enterprise.  He
 hated leaving Christine and Sodar, but Captain Kirk had exhausted all efforts to
 allow Spock to stay longer.  At least they were still patrolling the sector.
 The Captain had promised Spock that anytime they passed by Vulcan, he would try
 to arrange duty schedules so that Spock could be with his family.

 Sodar had gained several grams.  He was thriving.  The breast milk along with
 Vulcan supplements had nourished him well.  Christine was staying in the home of
 Spock's parents once again.  She had been released from the hospital two days
 prior to Spock's departure.  At his request, they had sleep together those two
 nights, even though Christine was not well enough for them to engage in
 intimacies.  She had reveled in the feel of his strong arms around her as they
 drifted off to sleep each night.  Since she had been released from the hospital,
 their kisses had become intensely passionate.  Desires that had lain dominant
 for so long were beginning to stir within her once more.

 She and Spock stood in the garden of his parents' home.  In minutes, he would be
 beaming aboard the Enterprise.  Spock held her close.  "I will return as often
 as possible.  I wish I could stay longer, but my duties as a Star Fleet officer
 dictate that I return to the Enterprise."

 She nodded.  "I know.  I'm glad Star Fleet is letting me have the leave of
 absence they have granted me."  She looked up into his dark eyes.  "I'm going to
 miss you so much."

 "We will be able to sense each other through our bond.  It will not be as
 satisfying as actually being with each other, but it will be a source of comfort
 for both of us."  Spock bent down and kissed her with fiery promise.  **Once you
 have fully recovered and I can return to Vulcan, we will consummate our
 bonding.**  He shared images of how he envisioned this passion filled encounter
 would be.

 Christine sighed and let her hands drift down to stroke his firm butt.  **I am
 looking forward to this encounter, Spock.**  She lifted her face to his, and he
 kissed her one last time before beaming up to the ship.

 She stood watching until the last shimmer of the transporter beam had vanished.
 Then, she turned and slowly walked into the house.  Her breasts were heavy with
 milk.  It was time to pump more milk for Sodar.  She wished she could nurse him,
 however until his weight was up to 1400 grams, he would have to be tube fed.  If
 he continued to do well, Soren was going to remove the nasal feeding tube and
 insert a G-button tube into his stomach.  This would be less irritating to
 Sodar.  It would also allow Sodar to attempt to nurse.  Christine wanted so
 badly to nurse their baby.

 Sitting in her room, she began pumping her breast milk.  As she worked the pump,
 she thought about Sodar.  So far, the fears of having to put him on a ventilator
 had not been fulfilled.  The treatments to mature his lungs while he was yet in
 his mother's womb had greatly matured them.  He was on oxygen, but breathing
 without any other assistance.  She closed her eyes and calmed herself as Spock
 had taught her to do.  When she became upset, it slowed the flow of breast milk.
 Sodar needed the breast milk.  She could not let him down.

 Later that evening, she joined Sarek and Amanda in the dining room for supper.
 She sat quietly at her place and ate slowly.  Amanda watched her with concern.
 She still had not fully regained her strength.

 "Christine, would you like to go to the hospital and see Sodar again this
 evening?"  asked Amanda.

 "Yes," replied Christine in a grateful tone.  "I need to take the breast milk
 I've expressed.  I am surprised at how much milk I seem to be producing."

 "We shall all go together, " said Sarek.  "I have not had the opportunity to see
 my grandson today."

 Christine smiled.  Sarek and Amanda were clearly thrilled to be grandparents.
 They visited Sodar at the hospital every day.  It would be comforting to have
 them at her side when she made her first visit without Spock.

                 ******************************************


Christine handed the containers of breast milk to the nurse, then they
walked over to the warming table where Sodar lay.

Sarek and Amanda stood there with her, one on each side, offering silent
support.

Tears began to trickle down Christine's cheeks.  Amanda drew her into
her arms, comforting her the best she could.  Christine clung to her and
tried to stop her tears.  Slowly, she realized she sensed Spock's
presence in her mind.  Comfort flowed through their bond.  Finally, her
tears ceased to fall.

She sighed softly, "Thank you, Amanda," she whispered.  She also sensed
Spock could feel her thanks to him for his support through their bond.
Amanda released her and patted her shoulder.

Christine stared back down at her tiny son.  A slight smile graced her
lips.  She could sense Spock through their bond reminding her that he
was "our" son.

Soren walked over to them.   "Sodar has shown more improvement today.
His weight is up by 2 grams."

This news brought a smile to Christine's lips.

He continued, "He is thriving on your breast milk with the added
supplements to support his Vulcanoid genetics.  The only area we have
not seen improvement in is the level of oxygen he requires.   However
this is not unexpected."  He gazed at Christine, scrutinizing her
general appearance.  "You appear to be quite fatigued.  You must not
over tire yourself, or you risk suffering a setback in your recovery.
You must rest one hour each morning and one hour each afternoon."

"I will, Soren," she replied.  She glanced back down at Sodar.  "He
needs me, so I will be careful to follow your instructions."

"My daughter, you are in need of rest.  We shall return home now," said
Sarek in a tone that left no room for disagreement.

In her room, she composed a quick message to Spock and sent it before
retiring.  As she lay in bed, she pondered the structure of family life
in the Vulcan culture.  Daughters-in-law and sons-in-law were accorded
the status of Sons and Daughters in the families they married into.

While she had still been in the hospital, Spock had discussed building a
home for them on his property.  They had selected a plan, and Spock had
contracted with a well-known Vulcan company to begin the construction
during the cooler winter months.

In the interim she would continue to live with Sarek and Amanda.  She
did not mind.  This was a peaceful home.

She slid under the covers of her bed  As she lay there, she found she
missed Spock's arms around her.  She sensed he missed her as
well....


Spock lay in his bed.  Even though they had departed from Vulcan hours
ago and were hundreds of kilometers away, performing the routine patrols
of their assigned areas, he could still sense Christine via their bond.
He knew she was sensing him as well.

He had not had this sort of easy mental rapport with T'Pring.  He
wondered why this was and purposed in his mind to speak with his father
regarding this when he again returned to Vulcan.  He turned over on his
side and allowed himself  to drift off to sleep, all the while wishing
Christine was in his arms.


Soren sat the scanner down.  It appears that you have fully recovered."

Christine smiled, "I feel great."

Soren continued, "If you and Spock wish to consummate your bonding, you
may now do so."  He picked up a PADD.  "I will now give you an update on
Sodar's progress.  He now weighs 815 grams.  His condition continues to
remain stable."  Soren gave her an encouraging look.  "If you wish, you
may hold him for a short time today.  His grandparents may hold him as
well."

Christine wiped her eyes as they began to fill with tears of joy.
"I....I can hold him?"

"For today, you may hold him," stressed Soren.  "He is still too
medically fragile to be held on a daily basis."

She nodded.  Even if she could only hold him today......It would mean so
much to have him in her arms.  She had waited six weeks for this
opportunity.

"If you will go to the Neo-Natal Unit, the nurses will assist you,"
prompted Soren.

"I will.  Thank you, Soren," she said softly as she walked into the
waiting area.

Sarek and Amanda rose from their seats as she walked out.  They both
wondered what Soren had said that brought  such an incredible expression
of joy to her lovely face.

"Christine," began Amanda.  "What did Soren have to say?"

"I've made a complete recovery."  Her smile grew.  "He said that for
today, we could each hold Sodar for a brief time."  Tears of joy were
spilling down her cheeks.

Amanda embraced her.  "Christine, that is wonderful news."

"We're to go to the Neo-Natal unit now, and the nurses will assist us,"
said  Christine as she hugged the older woman.

They pulled apart and looked at Sarek, who had remained quiet during
their emotional display.

"I am pleased to hear that both you and my grandson are doing so well.
We should all proceed to the Neo-Natal Unit.  We should not keep the
nurses or Sodar waiting."  said Sarek.

They hurried down to the Neo-Natal Unit.  The nurses had them thoroughly
scrub and don surgical gowns and masks.  This was to prevent any risk of
outside germs being transmitted to Sodar.

Christine sat down in the chair by Sodar's warming table and watched as
a nurse wrapped him in several blankets since he was still unable to
control his body temperature without the aid of the warming table.  The
nurse handed Sodar to Christine, and her heart overflowed with joy.  She
knew Spock could sense her joy through the bond they shared, just as she
could sense his joy.  She gazed at their son with love and adoration.

"Would you like for us to take some holographs?" asked Sodar's duty
nurse, T'Mesal.

Christine nodded, her eyes never leaving her precious son for a second.
T'Mesal took some shots of Christine and Sodar.

After about ten minutes, T'Mesal gently said, "We should allow one of
his grandparents to hold him now.  Soren feels that Sodar should only be
held for thirty minutes this first time."

Christine nodded, and she allowed T'Mesal to take Sodar from her.  She
rose from the chair, and Sarek nodded to Amanda, so she sat down.
T'Mesal handed Sodar to her.  Sarek placed his hand on Christine's
shoulder as they watched Amanda hold the baby.  Memories of Spock's
infancy sprang forth unbidden in his mind.  In no time at all, Amanda's
turn was up, and Sarek got to hold his grandson for the first time.  All
too soon, T'Mesal had to take Sodar and place him back on the warming
table.

Back at home in her room, Christine composed a message to Spock.  First,
she updated him on Sodar's condition and scanned the holographs the
nurse had taken into the message.  Then she told him that Sodar had
pronounced her completely recovered and said the could consummate their
bonding if they wished.  She grinned lasciviously at he lens that was
recording her image for this message.  "I know we both want to
'consummate' our bonding as soon as possible.  She could sense Spock's
reaction to her more sensual thoughts through the bond.  She did not
know when Spock would be able to return to Vulcan, but when he did, she
planned to give a whole new meaning to the saying "As hot as Vulcan."

                 ******************************************


Christine smiled when she flipped on her communication system and
discovered it was Spock contacting her.  "Hello, Spock, did you get my
message?"

"Yes, I received it," began Spock.   "I am pleased to know you have
fully recovered.  I have news which I think will please you as well.  In
two weeks, we will dock at Vulcan Space Central for upgrades to the
ship's computer systems.  The upgrades will take two weeks.  During this
time, the Captain have given his consent for me to stay planet side
while I am not on duty."

"That does please me, Spock," she said softly.  Her eyes twinkled
mischievously.  "Will we be consummating our bonding during those two
weeks?"

Spock raised an eyebrow.  "We will consummate it many times over.  Soon,
you will know a new meaning for the phrase, 'as hot as Vulcan.'"

Christine blushed, realizing he had picked up on that thought of hers.
"I tend to forget we have such a strong bonding."

"There is no shame in desiring physical intimacies.  I desire you very
much, even as you desire me."  Spock's tone had become much deeper and
huskier.

Christine brushed her fingers across the monitor, as if to touch his
face.  "I can't wait for you to come home, Spock."  She paused a few
minutes.  "Are we going to be here.....in your parents' home when
we........."  She trailed off, blushing.

"There is no need to be embarrassed about us sharing physical intimacies
in my parents' home.  We are bondmates, there is no shame in the two of
us indulging in intercourse.  Surely you do not think that Sarek and
Amanda are celibate?"

"No, Spock, it's just that..........It seems.......I don't
know........,"  Christine shook her head.  Then she felt him reach out
to her via their bond.  Suddenly she felt better.  Those things neither
could quite put into words were shared.

"Thank you, Spock," she said softly.  "You always seem to know just how
to soothe me."

"I would be a poor bondmate indeed, if I were unable to soothe you,"
said Spock.

"Did you get the images of our son that I sent you?" she asked.

"Yes, I have saved all of them.  I have framed the one of you holding
Sodar and placed it on my desk.  Illogically, I feel closer to the two
of you when I see it," said Spock.

"I am glad you have found some thing to make you feel that way, Spock,"
she answered.

"I must take my leave of you now.  My time is up.  Remember, my T'hy'la,
I love and cherish you," he said tenderly.

"I love and cherish you, Spock." she replied.

The screen went dark, and she sighed.  He would be with her in two
weeks.  That wait would seem forever, whereas the two weeks he would be
spending with her would appear to fly by in no time at all.

                 ******************************************


The Enterprise docked at Vulcan Space Central.  Spock looked at the red
planet beyond the space station.  Down on the planet, his bondmate
awaited him.  In the past two weeks, nightmares had been troubling her
sleep.  She refused to discuss them on the communications system.  Her
nightmares of the incident on Platonius disturbed him greatly.  Her
reluctance to discuss them disturbed him even more so.  He knew that it
was something that they had to discuss.  The nightmares had begun after
he informed her that he would be able to spend two weeks with her.  He
felt that they could not achieve the physical intimacy they both desired
if the feelings causing her nightmares went unresolved.

When Spock came off duty, he quickly got his bag from his quarters and
beamed down to the garden of his parents' home.  He found Christine
waiting there for him.  He dropped his bag and gathered her into his
arms.  She wrapped her arms around him and lifted her face to receive
his kiss.  He gently parted her lips with his tongue and deepened the
kiss.  She responded, but not as enthusiastically as she had in the
past.  He pulled back slightly and stared into her blue eyes.  There
were tears in them.  Quietly, he led her over to a bench in the shady
garden.

"Christine, we must talk about your dreams.  It is obvious that the
incidents on Platonius have affected you more than we realized."  He
held both of her hands in his own and waited for her response.

She began trembling and started to cry.  Spock drew her into his arms
and held her.  He gently rocked her and let her cry as he slowly entered
her mind and began comforting her in the Vulcan fashion.

Christine felt Spock's presence.  It soothed and calmed her.  She felt
his reassurance that understood.  Together, they faced the nightmares
that had tormented her sleep for two weeks.   Together, they began a
more thorough healing of the past, so that they could move on into a
brighter future.

When Spock withdrew from the meld, Christine smiled at him.  "Thank you,
Spock."

He gathered her back into his arms.  "I can not permit you to suffer.  I
must provide assistance when you need it."

She sat quietly in his arms.  She felt better after the meld.  Spock had
helped in a way that no one but he could do.  She looked up at him.
"Why don't we go into the house so you can unpack?"

He nodded.  "That would be a logical course of action."  Rising from his
seat, he picked up his bag.  "Where are Mother and Father?"

"They went to the Academy to review the schedules for the courses they
will teach next semester."  Her eyes twinkled at him.  "They said they
would be gone all day."  Her unspoken comment that this was being done
to give Spock some private time with her did not go unnoticed through
the bond.

Spock slid his arm around her, drawing her close.  "That was a very
generous decision on their part.  I suggest we make the most of this
'private time.'"

They quickly entered the house and went directly to Christine's room.
Spock surveyed the room, recalling how not too very long ago it had been
filled with medical equipment.  It was in this room he began to win her
trust back.  It would be in this room that they would consummate their
bonding.  He opened his bag and carefully removed a beautifully wrapped
gift.

"I brought this for you.  However, I would prefer that you wait to open
it until I have finished unpacking," said Spock softly.

She smiled.  "I can wait that long."

With her help, he was soon unpacked.  He handed the gift to her.  She
carefully removed the ribbons, then opened the gift slowly, not wanting
to tear the lovely paper.  She slowly lifted the lid of the box and
removed the tissue paper.  There lay a beautiful silk gown with a
matching robe.  It was trimmed with delicate lace.  She had never seen
such a lovely garment.

"Spock,"  she breathed.  "It's beautiful."  She stared at the gown in
delight.

"I think its beauty will be enhanced if you are wearing it," suggested
Spock with a gleam in his eye.

Picking up the box, she walked to her bathroom.  "I am putting it on
right now.  Why don't you get things ready out here?"

Spock raised an eyebrow.  The invitation in her voice was clear.  He
could sense a small amount of anxiety through their bond, but he knew he
could allay her fears.  He quickly stripped out of his uniform and slid
on a bathrobe.  Then, he turned down the bed and dimmed the dimmed the
lights.  He adjusted the window shading to let in no light whatsoever.
He heard a noise behind him and turned to see Christine standing in the
bathroom door.  She was a vision of loveliness in the gown and robe.  He
walked over to where she stood.  Gathering her in his arms, he
whispered, "Your beauty does indeed enhance the beauty of the gown and
robe just as I suspected it would."

She melted against him, willing herself to relax.  Spock sensed her
effort and projected comfort.  They stood there in each other's arms for
a time, then Christine looked up at Spock.  Her blue eyes linked with
his brown.  He kissed her gently at first, and then more passionately as
he felt her respond to him.  When he sensed her desire growing, he
lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed.

He lowered onto the mattress, following her body with his own.  Their
kisses continued to grow more intense.  Christine fumbled with the belt
of Spock's robe, untying it and then sliding her hands up his chest.

Spock unfastened her delicate robe and gently slid it off her
shoulders.  The gown was low cut enough to reveal the cleft between her
breasts.  He watched her carefully for a moment to ensure she was not
experiencing any distress, then gently slid his fingers along the cleft.

Christine gasped in pleasure.  Spock's fingers left a tingling sensation
where ever they touched her.  She slid her fingers through the crisp
hair on his chest, savoring the sensations it caused.  She wanted more,
so she grasped the robe's lapels and slid it off his shoulders.  Spock
drew back enough for her to remove it.  She stared unashamedly at him as
he lay back down next to her clad only in his briefs.  The huge bulge
let her know just how aroused he was and how much he desired her.

Spock reached over and slid one of the gowns straps off her shoulder.
He was proceeding very slowly, for he did not wish to for her to
associate their first love making as bond mates with the rushed, forced
encounter on Platonius.  As the strap slid down her arm, he leaned over
and kissed her neck softly, and gently began stroking the breast he had
bared.

His tender touches sent fire through every fiber of her being. She
clutched him and pressed against the hand that was stroking her breast.

"Oh, Spock...." she gasped.

He slid his lips along her skin till they reached her lips again.  This
time he probed deeply with his tongue.  She responded with more fiery
passion than she ever had before.  Encouraged, he slid the other strap
down.

Christine quickly slid her arms out of the straps.  In a breathless
voice, she said, "You can take it all the way off, if you would like to
Spock."

Spock slid the gown downward, softly kissing skin as it was revealed.
As the gown passed her hips, he kissed the silky fabric that covered her
now damp curls.  Her bikini underwear were gloriously damp from her
arousal.  Spock tossed the gown aside and lay atop of her, kissing her
hungrily.

Christine felt his erection pressing against her.  She pushed up against
it, eliciting a groan from Spock.  She grasped his briefs and tugged on
them, pulling them down off of his hips.  She managed to get them to his
thighs, but could get them no further.

He pulled away from her and quickly removed them, tossing them aside as
well.  Spock gazed down at her.  Her entire body was flushed with
arousal.  She reached out and guided his hands to the waistband of her
panties.

Spock smiled softly.  He drew them down so slowly.  It felt as if his
fingers were leaving trails of fire down her legs.  After his
torturously slow removal of them, he tossed them aside and lay down
beside Christine and drew her close.  As he kissed her passionately, his
hand slid slowly down her body to the wet warmth that called out for his
touch.  He brushed his fingers over the folds briefly, then slid them
inside to stroke her more intimately.  As his capable fingers began
stroking her clitoris, she began to squirm and moan.

Christine's hands began a fervent descent to Spock's erect penis.  She
heard him gasp as she stroked it.  It was hot and throbbing in her hand.

Spock captured one of her nipples in his mouth and began to suck.  With
her free hand, Christine began stroking his silky hair, keeping his lips
on her press with a slight pressure to his head.

When Spock sensed she was right at the threshold of climax, he rolled
her onto her back and positioned himself over her.  Through the bond, he
sensed her plea and slid himself into her.  They set a steady rhythm
with a steadily increasing tempo.

Christine's climax hit hard.  She began calling out Spock's name.  As
her muscles tightened on him, his seed spurt forth and he groaned
deeply.

When they had finally come down, they lay contentedly in each other's
arms.  Each could sense the other's contentment through their bond.

Finally, Christine spoke, "Thank you for being so gentle, Spock."

He kissed her tenderly.  "I wanted to give you memories of a pleasant
joining to help ease the pain you carry from Platonius."

 Snuggling closer, she whispered softly.  "Let's just lay here in each
other's arms for a while, then in a bit, we can go see Sodar."

"An excellent suggestion, Christine," replied Spock.

They lapsed back into silence each content to lay within the other's
arms.

                 ******************************************


They quietly entered the Neo-Natal Care Center.  Soren was standing
beside Sodar's warming table.  They hurried to their son's side.

Noticing the concern on their faces, Soren immediately assuaged their
fears.  "Sodar is doing quite well.  I was merely performing a routine
examination."

Christine sighed in relief.  She sensed Spock's relief through the bond
as well, though he gave no outward indication of it.

"Have you both studied the material on Kangaroo Care that I gave you?"
asked Soren.

"We have," answered Spock.  He felt Christine's hand grip his.  He knew
her heart ached because she had not been able to hold their son since
the one time he had holos from.

"Today, I would like to start Sodar on Kangaroo Care.  I will permit
each of you to hold him in the therapeutic fashion for thirty minutes
each," said Soren.

He motioned to orderlies to set up a privacy screen.  Then a nurse
joined them to assist in preparing them as well as Sodar.  Christine
trembled with excitement and joy at the thought of holding Sodar in her
arms again.

"I will leave you with the nurse.  If you have any questions or
concerns, feel free to contact me," Soren said softly.

Christine quickly opened her blouse and unhooked the front closure on
her bra.  She sat in the rocking chair that was provided for her.  The
nurse had stripped Sodar down to his diaper and helped Christine
position him against her chest.  After covering him with some soft
blankets, the nurse said, "I will give the two of you privacy for now.
When your thirty minutes are up, I will be back to assist in
transferring Sodar to Spock."  She quietly left the area.

Christine felt tears begin to sting her eyes.  It had only been two
weeks since she'd held Sodar in her arms, but it seemed as if it had be
an eternity.  She felt Spock's hand on her shoulder as he comforted
her.  Sodar's body relaxed against hers.  She felt joy and peace fill
her soul.  They were quiet, not wanting any noises to possibly distress
Sodar.

When Christine's time was up, the nurse returned and facilitate Sodar's
transfer to Spock.  As he sat with his son against his chest, he fully
understood for the first time the pleasure a child brought to parents.

After Sodar had been returned to his warming table, Spock requested a
conference with Soren to discuss Sodar's progress.  They sat in his
office with him, listening carefully as he gave them the current data on
Sodar's condition.

"Sodar has had a significant weight gain.  He now weighs 1133.980
grams.   It is a true weight gain, as opposed to a fluid build up.
Christine's breast milk, along with the supplements to support his
Vulcan genetics are proving quite effective.  If he continues to
progress in development as he has been doing, by twelve weeks we may
remove the Gavage tube and surgically implant a G-button through his
abdomen.  At this time, we will begin allowing him to attempt to nurse,
and supplement his nutritional needs with the G-Button until he is
nursing sufficiently to meet those needs.  I also anticipate being able
to take him off of oxygen at that time as well."

Christine tightened her hold on Spock's hand.  "So far, none of the
problems we have anticipated have occurred.  Is Sodar out of danger
yet?"

"At this time, he is stable, but with micro-preemies, the first year is
critical.  The greatest risk is infection.  However, as you are well
aware, we are very vigilant about decontamination processes."

Christine smiled.  Before anyone was allowed to enter the neo natal
areas of the hospital, they were subjected to decontamination processes
along the way. Anyone with any indication of infection was denied
entrance even if they had a child in the center.  "With the precautions
you take, I would be surprised if any of the babies developed
infections."

"It has happened on a rare occasion," answered Soren honestly.
"However,  it is extremely rare."

"Provided he continues to thrive, when do you anticipate Sodar being
discharged from the hospital?" asked Spock.

"If he continues to develop normally and there are no further
complications, I would anticipate his discharge when he reaches
approximately 2948.350 grams.  That would be a near normal birth
weight," said Soren.

They thanked Soren and left quietly.

                 ******************************************


Later that evening, Spock approached Sarek's study and knocked at the
open door.  Sarek looked up and indicated for Spock to come in.
"Father, I wish to speak with you on a deeply personal matter," said
Spock.

Sarek pressed a button on his desk and the door to the study slid
closed.  "Have a seat, my Son, and we shall discuss the matter."

"I have questions about the nature of the marital bond," began Spock.
"My bond with Christine is quite strong.  I was able to sense her
presence even while I was aboard the Enterprise.  However, when I was
bonded to T'Pring, I was seldom able to sense her mind.  Even as I was
returning to Vulcan to take her as my wife, I was unable to sense her.
Even when we met at my family grounds for Koon-ut-Kali-if-fee I was
unable to sense her, and was unaware of her impending betrayal.  You
have been bonded to both a Vulcan female and a Human female.  Is there a
difference in the bondings?"

Sarek stared at his son briefly.  He had been unaware of T'Pring's
complete and total rejection of his son.  "No, my son, there is no
difference in the bonding."  Sarek grew quiet for a few moments and then
continued.  "I was wrong to bond you as a child.  Your mother felt that
it would be best if you were allowed to make your own choice of a mate
later in life.  Some Vulcan families had broken with tradition and done
just that.  I was stubborn and insisted that we would follow tradition
completely.  If I had listened to your mother's advice, you would have
been spared much grief.  For that I am deeply sorry."

"You had no way of predicting the future, Father," answered Spock
quietly.  "It is best to leave the past and its regrets in the past and
to concentrate on our futures."

"A wise decision, indeed," murmured Sarek.  "For though we are unable to
change the past, the future is ours to shape and better forge our
destinies."

                 ******************************************


The two weeks passed very quickly for Spock and Christine.  They divided
their time between visiting Sodar, spending time with Spock's parents,
visiting crew mates, and having private time to themselves.

After a final passionate goodbye kiss from Christine, Spock beamed
aboard the Enterprise.

Christine stood in the garden, her loneliness eased somewhat by the
gentle presence of Spock's mind through the bond.  She turned and walked
into the house, secure in the knowledge that Spock would return as soon
as an opportunity presented itself.

                 ******************************************


The weeks passed slowly.  Sodar's weight gain was slow but consistent.
Christine sat in the chair giving Sodar Kangaroo care.  In a few hours,
Soren would be taking him into surgery to give him a G-Button for his
feedings.  He had been taken off of oxygen last week and was doing well,
so Soren had decided to proceed with the surgery.  As in all surgeries,
there were some risks involved.  She fervently wished Spock could be
here with her.  Being able to sense each other through the bond was not
the same as him being here in person.

He had sensed her distress and had continuously projected warmth and
assurance through their bond.  He deeply regretted not being to be there
with her.  However, this time he was not able to get away and would not
be able to see Christine or their son for at least eight weeks.  Soren
had assured him that any risk to Sodar was minimal.  This information
made it easier on Spock since he could not be with Sodar right now.

The nurse came and took Sodar from Christine to prep him for surgery.
She released him very reluctantly.  She trusted Soren completely, but it
was still extremely hard to let Sodar go.

Sarek placed his hand on her shoulder.  "Do not be fearful, my
daughter.  Sodar is a strong baby.  I have every confidence that he will
survive this procedure."

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.  She needed Spock so badly.
She felt his comforting presence in her mind stronger than she had
before.  **I am always with you through our bond.  Sodar will survive.
Please do not allow yourself to be so troubled.**  A peacefulness settled
over her as Spock's close contact continued to bring her comfort.

On the Enterprise, Spock sensed Christine beginning to relax.  He fought
down the illogical guilt he felt.  They both knew that as Starfleet
officers there would be times they would have to spend apart.  He
sincerely wished that he could be there with her in person.  It was just
not possible....


Two hours later, Soren followed a stretcher bearing Sodar's tiny body.
"He survived the procedure without any complications.  We will watch him
for signs of infection, though I do not anticipate any.  You must
refrain from holding him for the rest of the day.  He will be sedated,
he requires intensive rest to recover from the surgery."

Christine stared down at her son.  He looked so tiny on the huge
stretcher.  He almost seemed to be a doll.  "How soon will he be able to
take nourishment through the tube?" she asked softly.

"As soon as he recovers from the anesthesia, feedings will begin.  You
should be prepared to attempt nursing him tomorrow," answered Soren.
He looked at her and realized that she was exhausted.  "You should go
home and rest now.  Sodar is in good hands here."

Sarek nodded, "Yes, you have not slept well for the past several
nights.  You need your rest."

Christine bent down and kissed Sodar's cheek, then followed Sarek and
Amanda to go home.  It was very hard for her to leave her son, but she
knew that Soren and Sarek were right about her needing rest too.

In the sanctity of her room, she sat at her desk and opened a com line
to send a message to Spock.  When she discovered he was in his quarters,
her heart sang with joy.

"Hello, Spock," she said softly.  "I just wanted to let you know that
Sodar came through his surgery with no problems."  She reached out and
touched his face on her monitor.

"I am pleased to hear that Sodar is well, T'hy'la," answered Spock.  He
noted the dark circles under her eyes and the extreme fatigue that
seemed to weigh upon her.  "T'hy'la, you appear to be wearied to the
point of almost making yourself ill.  Is there a matter which you are
not telling me?"

"I'll be okay, Spock.  I have just been worried about Sodar."  She
brushed her fingers across the screen again.  "And I miss you."  Her
voice trembled slightly.

Spock reached out through their bonding and began soothing and
comforting her as only he could do.  She sighed as she sensed  his
presence beginning to comfort her.  Memories of the two weeks they had
spent together surfaced in her mind.  ***Yes, my T'hy'la, I remember
those two weeks very well.***  Images of how he wished to hold her and
touch her flooded her mind.

Slowly, the contact lessened, she could only sense the normal levels of
Spock's mind through the bond.  She smiled at the screen.  "Thank you,
Spock, I feel better now."

He gave her a ghost of a smile.  "Christine, you should go and rest
now.  I may be able to visit Vulcan again in eight weeks.  Then, I will
make the memories of those two weeks we spent together pale in
comparison.

She smiled at him and replied in a sultry voice, "That sounds
fascinating.  I am looking forward to it.  Goodbye, my love."

"Goodbye, T'hy'la," said Spock tenderly.

After the transmission was cut, Spock got up and walked over to the
head.  His talk with Christine had caused his body to react as it always
did.  Dr. McCoy had suggested cold showers to help diminish the
reaction.  He definitely needed one this time.

                 ******************************************


The next morning, Christine and Amanda were in the Neo-Natal unit.
Christine was going to attempt breast feeding with Sodar for the first
time.  She had asked Amanda to come for moral support.  The nurse help
Christine position Sodar properly, he latched on to  her nipple and
began trying to suck.  As soon as he tasted the milk from his mother's
breast, he began sucking harder, eager to have more of this unusual
sensation.  Christine watched in awe as he sucked eagerly.  She had been
very nervous at first, and Spock sensing this through their bond, had
begun calming her through their bond link, knowing as well as Christine
did that if she were tense it would hinder Sodar's efforts to nurse.

"You're doing fine, Christine," whispered Amanda.  As she watched Sodar
nurse, she recalled nursing Spock when he was an infant.  It made her
feel good to see her grandson nursing as his father had before him.

"I have helped new mothers a few times, but this is nothing like what I
expected it to be.  It is such a ...."  she paused as she
searched for the words to describe the experience.

"I understand, Christine," said Amanda gently.

After about fifteen minutes, Sodar had finished.  Amanda held him while
Christine readjusted her clothing.  Soren joined them in the room.
Scanning Sodar, he determined that Sodar had received an adequate amount
of breast milk based on his weight.

"He did well for his first time."  He looked at Christine intently.  "He
may not always do as well until he has become accustomed to nursing.
However, his success on this first attempt is quite encouraging."

                 ******************************************


Later that evening, Christine sent a message to Spock.  He was not
available to take the message personally.  She told him of Sodar's
success on his first nursing attempt.  However, she did warn him as
Soren had warned her, that Sodar may not do as well every time until he
became more accustomed to nursing.  She also told him she was looking
forward to seeing him again, if he were indeed able to come as he hoped
in eight weeks.  "I want to work on that new meaning for 'hot as Vulcan'
some more," she said in a sexy, provocative tone.  She closed by telling
him she loved him.

Spock listened to her message, and was pleased with her report on
Sodar's progress.  When she began talking about new meanings for 'hot as
Vulcan', he felt arousal course through his body.  Tonight would be yet
another 'cold shower night.'

He replied to her message, expressing his pleasure at the report on
Sodar, and giving her a provocative and sexy answer to her 'hot as
Vulcan' comment.  He pressed send and entered the head for a very cold
shower.

                 ******************************************


Sodar, as Soren had predicted had good and bad days nursing.  On days
when his intake was insufficient, He was given additional breast milk
through his G-Button.  He was growing well, and there had been no
complications since his surgery.  He had been taken off of oxygen
shortly before his surgery and was evidencing no difficulties breathing.

Christine held him as he nursed.  Today he was nursing eagerly.  His
weight was now up to 2041.165 grams.  She had wept this morning when she
realized that if no complications had occurred, he would have been born
this very week.  Spock had sensed her distress through the bond and had
comforted her.  The strength of their bond continually amazed her.  It
was a source of great comfort, sensuality, and companionship for both of
them.

Sodar looked up at his mother with his dark brown eyes.  He slowed his
nursing a bit, and she stroked his cheek to encourage him to nurse
more.  He began sucking harder again.  Closing her eyes, she reached out
via her bond to Spock.  Feeling his answering presence in his mind, she
allowed him to feel what she experienced as Sodar nursed.

Spock found the sensation quite unusual.  He sucks your nipple almost as
hard as you suck mine.  Christine blushed as she picked up on Spock's
thought.  Lately, they had been making very sensual comments to one
another, both through the bond link and on the communications system as
well.  Spock's hidden sensuality had been somewhat of a surprise to
her.  They indulged in a lot of sexual comments in their communications,
causing her to need more than a few cold showers.  When she told Spock,
he admitted the same was true for him.

Sodar had stopped nursing and drifted off to sleep.  She gently laid him
in his isolette and fixed her clothing.  He was no longer in the
Neo-Natal unit of the hospital.  He was in a private room with close
monitoring.

She walked out to the corridor and let the nurses know she was returning
to her office.  Starfleet had offered her the position of Head Nurse
over their ward in the Vulcan Science Academy hospital.  She was also
given a great deal of leeway in doing research.  It was a choice
assignment.  She had accepted it without hesitation.  As she was in
charge of her own schedule, she could attend to Sodar's needs as they
arose.

She entered her office and sat at her desk.  There were only two
patients in the ward right now.  She reviewed their charts on the
computer.  Both were making satisfactory recovery from the severe Plasma
burns they had received in an accident.  Satisfied with the work the
nurses were doing, she turned her attention to her current research
project.  It kept her occupied until it was time for Sodar's next
feeding.

Later that evening as she was preparing for bed, her com line sounded.
She checked and discovered it was Spock.  Before activating her viewer,
she slid off her robe to reveal a sexy negligee.  She sat down and
activated her viewer.

Spock stared at his scantily clad wife.  He felt stirrings deep within.
"Hello, T'hy'la," he said in a suddenly hoarse voice.

"Hello, Spock," she purred sexily.  It had almost become a game between
them to see who could affect whom first.  In this case, she had
definitely gotten the upper hand.  "Have you missed me as much as I miss
you?"

"I have indeed missed you, my T'hy'la.  I miss your presence in bed with
me.  Those two weeks we spent together make sleeping alone very
difficult now."

"I know," she replied.  "My bed suddenly seems to be enormous without
you sharing it with me."

Spock raised an eyebrow, if they continued in this venue much longer, he
would not need a cold shower, as his problem would solve itself, leaving
him rather messy.  With a swallow, he asked, "How is our son today?"

Christine smiled, as she realized that she had really affected him
deeply.  They were about even for who could affect who first.  "He is
doing fine, Spock.  He weighs 2046.165 grams now.  In fact, Spock, I
just realized this morning, that if they had not been forced to take him
early, he would have been born this week."  She smiled lovingly at his
image on the viewscreen.  "Thank you for comforting me this morning."

"I was pleased I was able to bring comfort to you.  In five weeks,
Captain Kirk has confirmed that I will be able to take 72 hours of
leave.  It is only a short time, but I treasure any time I am able to
spend with you."

Tears welled up in her eyes.  "I treasure any time I can spend with you
as well."

"My time allotment is nearing its end.  So now though, I do not wish to,

I must bid you farewell.  I love you, my T'hy'la."

"I love you too, Spock."  she whispered.

The screen went blank, and she quickly stood up and walked over to her
bed.  Her first week back at work had been very tiring.  She slid under
the covers and fell asleep looking forward to Spock's next visit.

                 ******************************************


Christine sat quietly in the garden.  Spock would be arriving soon.  She
could sense his growing anticipation through their bond.  It had been
ten weeks since he had visited.  All the sensual teasing they had been
doing over the past five weeks had set the mood for a passionate
reunion.  She lifted her head as she heard the transporter beam begin.
As the shimmering column began to coalesce, she stood to her feet and
moved closer.  In mere seconds, Spock had materialized and pulled her
into his arms.  His lips met hers in a hungry kiss.  She returned his
kiss with all the pent up passion that five weeks of teasing had allowed
to build up.

Finally, he drew his lips away from hers.  "Where are our parents?" he
asked hoarsely.

"They had to attend a meeting of the Vulcan High Council regarding the
increase of Romulan activity along the Neutral Zone.  They said they
would be quite late," she explained, still breathless from their kiss.

"I think we should go inside now," said Spock in the same hoarse voice.
"The garden is not well suited for the activity I would like to engage
in with you."

She smiled seductively.  "What activity would that be, Spock?"

For an answer, he pulled her back into his arms and kissed her
passionately, and allowed his hands to roam down to her shapely bottom.
He pulled her against him, allowing her to feel his already straining
erection.  She ground her hips into his with a moan.

Pulling back with great reluctance, she nodded, "Let's get inside before
I start ripping your clothes off where you stand."

Keeping one arm securely around her waist, he led her inside the house
and directly to her bedroom.  As the door slid shut behind them, he
feverishly began removing her clothes.  She helped him remove his
clothes as well.  They tumbled onto the bed hands roving over each
other's bodies, mouths locked in deep, ravishing kiss.

Christine felt as if her entire body was on fire.  She ran her hands
over Spock's chest, enjoying the texture of his coarse chest hair.  He
was creating the most incredible sensations as he caressed her body.
Through their bond she could feel everything he felt as well as what she
felt.   They were consumed with their passions.

                 ******************************************


Spock sat by Christine as she nursed their son.  Sodar was nursing well
today.  His appetite had increased dramatically over the past week.
Soren was pleased with the progress Sodar was making.  He now weighed
2358.647 grams.  He was still not at what would be considered a normal
birth weight, but he was consistently gaining weight which was what was
really important.  Soren had also told both of them that Sodar's chances
of survival had risen to 92.547%.

Christine shifted Sodar in her arms and readjusted her clothing.  "This
is the longest he has nursed since I started nursing him, Spock."  She
held him out to Spock.  "He's asleep, but you can still hold him if you
would like to."

Spock reaches out and took him in his arms.  As he stared down at his
tiny son, he marveled at how much  he had grown since his last visit.
He felt certain that Sodar would continue to thrive.  He had no logic to
base his opinion on, but he was certain.  "Our son has grown a great
deal since my last visit.  According to his charts, he has also steadily
increased his intake of milk since he started nursing."

"Soren says it is not uncommon for that to happen," replied Christine.
"The physical contact helps stimulate the instinct to nurse."

The nurse entered the room and announced that visiting hours were over.
Spock very reluctantly placed Sodar back in his crib.  They both left
quietly, while the private duty nurse came in the room to take over
Sodar's care for the evening.

Later, as they sat in the garden, Spock held her close as they discussed
the future.  Now that this part of Vulcan was experiencing it's winter,
the construction on their home had begun.  They had started construction
three weeks ago.

"The house is coming along well, Spock."  whispered Christine as she
cuddled her head into his chest.

"I have been getting frequent updates from the builders.  They say it
will be ready in four more weeks.  Since you will spend more time there
than I will, it seems logical to permit you to select the furnishings,"
said Spock.

"That doesn't seem fair, Spock.  How about if I send you images of the
things I like and we decide jointly which we both like best," said
Christine.

"A wise solution, indeed, T'hy'la," he whispered as he brushed his lips
across her temple.  "I think the first room you furnish should be the
master bedroom suite."  One of his hands slid up her body to cup her
breast.

"Hmm, any special requests, Spock," she sighed.

"A king sized bed would be a logical choice.  It would give us ample
room to indulge ourselves," he said as he continued kissing her temple
and cupping her breast.

Christine shifted so that her lips brushed Spock's and her breast
pressed into his hand.  He brushed his tongue against her lips, and she
willingly opened them to him.  After long minutes of exploration, she
pulled back and looked into his smoldering eyes.

"I think we may want to go inside.  I'm not sure I'd like Sarek and
Amanda to find us in a compromising situation in the garden," she
whispered.

Without a word, he swept her into his arms and carried her into the
house.

                 ******************************************


As always, Spock's visit seemed all too short to both of them.  He left
with his usual promise of returning as soon as he was able.

Christine watched as the transporter whisked him away from her once
more.

                 ******************************************


Christine sat quietly at her desk in her office.  Soren had just told
her that provided no complications arose, that Sodar would be released
in approximately five weeks.  She wanted to be able to stay at home with
her son.  She loved the position Starfleet had given her, but while
Sodar was well enough to be released from the hospital, he was not well
enough to come to work with her everyday.  She did not want her child to
be raised by others.  She and Spock had been discussing her desire to
resign from Starfleet for several days now.  They both knew it would be
hard to convince Starfleet to let someone with her credentials resign.
The door chime sounded, startling her back to the present.

"Come in," she called as she pressed a button.

T'Pau walked purposefully into the office.  Christine quickly stood,
giving the Vulcan salute.  "Welcome, T'Pau, how may I be of service to
you?"

"I have come to talk with you, please sit back down," she said calmly.

Christine sat back down, and T'Pau took the seat across from her.  She
studied Christine carefully.  She could sense the conflict in her
grandson's bondmate.  It was her duty as matriarch of the clan to assist
if she could.

"Christine, I have been told you wish to resign your position with
Starfleet.  Is this truly what you want?"  asked T'Pau.

Christine nodded, "Yes, Sodar will need close medical attention once he
is released from the hospital.  He will not be strong enough to go to
and from work with me everyday, so after discussing the matter with
Spock, I have decided to resign from Starfleet.  However, getting the to
accept the resignation is proving quite challenging."

"Starfleet is very reluctant to lose someone with you training and
skills.  What have they proposed to you as an alternative to resigning?"
asked T'Pau.

"They want me to stay on as a research consultant, but they will not
promise me that I won't have to be on active duty on a ship or a
starbase.  Neither are acceptable options, as I would not be permitted
to take Sodar.  I would want it in the contract that I will be stationed
at Vulcan, and be allowed to have an office in my home.  Additionally, I
also want assurances that I will not be transferred anywhere until Sodar
is at five, and that at that time, he will be allowed to be with me at
my posting, be it on a starship or a starbase.  If Starfleet is willing
to concede to these demands, then I will remain in Starfleet, otherwise
I will continue to pursue complete resignation," answered Christine
firmly.  She wondered why T'Pau was asking her about this.

"Those are reasonable demands, considering Sodar's fragile health.   I
must go now, I wanted to acertain your wishes in the matter,"  said
T'Pau cryptically.  She rose and left quietly.

Christine pondered her conversation with T'Pau for a few moments, then
turned her mind back to the duty schedule she was working on.


Later that evening, Christine was relaxing in her new home.  The
builders had finished the house as promised.  It was nice to have her
own home again, and it was built on property that adjoined Sarek and
Amanda's home, so she still saw them quite frequently.  The bulk of the
furnishings were in place.  The master bedroom was the only room not
completely furnished.  The furniture she and Spock had chosen was being
custom-made and would be ready in three weeks.  She had been sleeping in
the guest room, and planned to do so until Spock was able to visit
again, so they could properly break in the new bedroom furniture.  That
thought brought a wave of desire coursing through her.  Noticing the
time, she walked into the study to contact Spock.  She hoped she would
be able to speak to him personally and tell him the wonderful news that
Sodar would possibly be released in five weeks.  When Spock answered the
com line in his quarters, she was overjoyed.

"Hello, Spock," she said softly.  She allowed her fingers to brush over
the screen as if she could touch his face.

"Hello, T'hy'la," answered Spock.  He could sense she was blocking and
wondered why she was doing so.  "You have blocked your mind from me,
T'hy'la.  Is there a problem."

Christine smiled brightly, and let her feelings of joy begin to flow
over their bond link.  "No, nothing's wrong, in fact, I got some
wonderful news today.  Soren thinks we may be able to bring Sodar home
in five weeks."

"That is indeed wonderful news.  Our son has made remarkable progress.
As you know, the Captain has promised me a week's leave when our son is
discharged.  I shall inform him so that he may begin to prepare for my
leave," said Spock.

"T'Pau came by my office to see me today.  She was asking me about my
reasons for wanting to resign from Starfleet.  She questioned me about
them, and then she left.  I am not sure why she wanted to know," said
Christine.

Spock raised an eyebrow.  This would not be the first time that T'Pau
had gone up against the brass at Starfleet to help a member of the
clan.  "It may be that she plans to see if her influence will help your
cause."

"I thought that may be her reasons.  I may get what I want after all,"
said Christine with a laugh.

"It is indeed quite possible.  T'Pau is a very powerful figure.  It is
not often that she does not get what she wants," answered Spock.

"I'm glad she's on our side then," answered Christine with a chuckle.

"As am I," said Spock.  "Are you enjoying our new home?"

"Except for missing you I am," she answered playfully as she mentally
projected images of both of them in the huge tub in the master bath.

Spock shifted in his seat as he felt desire wash over him.  "We will be
able to indulge ourselves in your fantasy when I return for Sodar's
homecoming.  Will our bedroom furniture be delivered by that time?"  His
eyes smoldered at her, setting her heart racing even faster.

"Yes, it will be, Spock.  And, as I told you, I am not sleeping in our
bedroom until you come home."

"That is still rather illogical, though I must admit, I am pleased that
you wish to wait and share your first night in our bedroom with me,"
Spock's eyes were darkening, which Christine knew was a sure sign that
he was aroused.

"I can't wait for us to break in the bedroom together," she whispered
seductively.

A beep broke the mood.  It was a signal that Spock's time was up.

"I must go now, T'hy'la," he whispered softly.

"Goodbye, Spock, I love you," she said tenderly.

"I love you, too," he answered just before the screen went dark.


                 ******************************************


The next morning, after she had nursed Sodar, she went to her office.  A
message light was blinking on her console.  She activated the com system
and the message began to play.  When it was finished, she sat in
amazement at what she had just heard.  T'Pau's influence had worked.
She was going to receive all that she had asked for and more.  Her
promotion to Lieutenant Commander was long overdue.  She doubted that
even T'Pau's influence could have accomplished that though.  She knew
she had earned her promotion many times over.  She quickly replied to
the message letting them know she accepted their offer.  The changes
would take affect in one week.

After handling the formalities of replying to Starfleet, she sent a
message to Spock to let him know the good news as well.


Christine walked out to the garden.  Spock was about to beam down.
Today, they would bring Sodar home from the hospital.  Many of Spock's
clan members were in attendance as well.  Today, they would greet each
other with the two-fingered touch.   She watched as the transporter's
shimmer and whine began.  After Spock was released from the transporter,
he walked over to her and held out his two fingers in the Vulcan
fashion.  She touched her two fingers to his and felt the his mind brush
against hers.  They stood that way for several seconds, then he led her
to the house, maintaining the two-fingered touch.

After briefly visiting with family members, they went to pick up Sodar
from the hospital.  As the nurses placed Sodar in her arms, Christine's
heart overflowed with joy.  Today had been a long time in coming.  She
thought back to the day when she had told Spock and Dr. McCoy of her
pregnancy.  That day she felt as if Parmen and the other Platoians had
destroyed her life.  Today, she knew that her life was enriched with a
wonderful son and a loving husband.  They walked slowly down to the
aircar that they had recently purchased so Christine would have her own
transportation.  Sodar was carefully strapped into his safety seat.  As
she got into the aircar, tears began trickling down her cheeks.  She had
waited for this moment for so long, and at last it was here.

"T'hy'la, are you all right?" asked Spock concernedly, as he reached
through the bond to discover the source of her distress.

"I'm okay, Spock," she answered.  "It's just that we've waited to bring
Sodar home for so long, that I can barely believe that I'm not
dreaming."

"I assure you, Christine, you are not dreaming.  The long awaited day
has arrived, and we are taking Sodar home," answered Spock.

He powered up the aircar and they began the short trip back home.  Upon
arrival, Spock, as tradition dictated, carried his son into his home.
The family members all gathered in the living room as Spock placed his
son on T'Pau's lap.  As matriarch of the clan, she began to extoll the
lineage of Sodar.  When she reached Surak, she began telling of his
reforms, and how it was the duty of the clan to help Sodar reach his
full potential by providing whatever assistance his parents might need.

When the traditional extollation of linege was complete, Sodar, who was
still sleeping soundly, was placed in his bassinet.  The family then
began the traditional meal that followed welcoming a new baby in the
clan home.  It seemed that they would never be alone with their son and
each other.

Finally, the last guest had left and the kitchen was clean.  Chirstine
sat down to nurse Sodar again.  Unless his weight dropped,  he would
receive no more tube feedings.  He would nurse at night as well as
during the day.  She had spent four nights at the hospital to get him
accustomed to night nursing.  Spock sat beside her, watching as his son
nursed eagerly.  They were quiet, both mindful of how much they wanted
him to go to sleep after he finished nursing.

Finally, Sodar dozed off in his mother's arms.  She adjusted her
clothing and carried him to their bedroom, placing him in the bassinet
on her side of the bed.  Spock glanced around the bedroom.  Christine
had successfully combined many human and Vulcan elements in a
esthetically pleasing manner.

Spock pulled her into his arms and kissed her demandingly.  She eagerly
responded, putting her arms around him.  He began removing her clothing,
caressing what ever flesh was revealed as each piece was removed.  Her
hands were equally busy removing his clothing.  As the last scrap of
clothing fell to the floor, Spock pulled her down onto the bed with
him.....


Christine lay snuggled against Spock.  She smiled up at him.  "When I
first realized I was pregnant with Sodar, I was certain that dilemma
would make changes in my life.  I never dreamed that the changes would
include a future for all three of us to be together."

"I am pleased that the future includes all three of us.  Perhaps in a
more distant future, there will be more than three of us," Spock said.

She kissed him softly.  "Perhaps, right now, I am happy to have you and
my son."


The End